I 'm on the other side of the world from you guys, and it is the same everywhere, what is going on?? , how it come the law protects the so called "weak sex" and we are so alienated and humiliated and there is nothing we can do.

The more I read and the more info I gather, the more I realized that there is no place for us after separation, our love for our Childs is not recognized, Man helps the mother to build the environment so they can have a biological link with the kids just by simply putting our effort to build a home and give them financial security that eventually becomes null also our friends disappear, because they don’t want to get involved, we are lucky to keep the bloody dog.

I seriously think that before you get marry or engage into a de facto relationship the government should give warning classes of the consequences of a probable separation, especially when there are kids in between alternately there would have to be documents previously signed to protect us from what would happened if there is a separation, considering that there are more chances than not that you will separate from your spouse.

Our kids specially boys , will eventually get into relationships and we know by experience they will not listen to us when we tell them the proverbial words “BE CAREFULL” she is very sweet but you never know what could happened.

It’s also true that we do have a responsibility in their actions, if we advise correctly our daughters to look after their kids’ wellbeing over all and not to take care of their personal satisfaction first. We can only do this by acting correctly and give the example 24/7.

oziman we felt that way also. My partner fought tooth and nail to protect his kids (I'm a partner of a father who struggled with the system), and we were really up against it, noone wanted to get involved initially (police, DOCS, legal departments, education department, etc).

Education department agreed that something had to be done urgently about the childrens absenteeism, yet refused to become involved or even write a statement to say there was an issue. DOCS basically fobbed us off, they agreed there was an issue with neglect but they had bigger fish to fry. Police pretty much told us their hands were tied and they didn't really like to get involved although they agreed it was a very sad situation for the kids and they'd like to help. Solicitors initially told us the mother wins in most cases and could not really offer an effective solution.

We knew without a doubt what we were doing was 100% the right thing for the kids, our thoughts were not for us, only for the kids. We knew we had no other choice if the kids were to have a decent chance. We tried everything else and then realised you have to push harder. You have to push the point until someone is prepared to stand with you on it. Remain calm and mature, but push the point. Eventually someone will see the truth and start fighting with you instead of against you.

That's how we managed to win full time custody from the mother after she had had full time custody for 2.5 years.

I don't know what your situation is, but I can remember that horrible feeling of being all alone with noone seemingly willing to help. If you genuinely have the best interests of your children at heart and you keep your backyard tidy, anything is possible.

Thanks Kay.

It’s frustrating to become a member of society with little value that is obligated to demonstrate or prove you have some rights or say on your kid’s life.

My daughters are obviously suffering from the so called PAS. And my current situation makes it impossible for me to do anything about it. I live in Lain America now and I have a new family, a very supportive woman a step daughter from her first marriage and my 2 year old baby daughter.

My biz in Australia went sour in 1997 and part of my biz was related to south America so I came to Chile to try to retain part of it, but eventually everything disappear, whilst I was here I made some business arrangements and just over a year I was able to get my family back with me in Chile I was once more the man I was before, with my business and my family. During the following months she (my ex) made my life impossible in order for all of us to get back to Australia in the process everything started to turn sour again and during the winter of 2001 I was flooded by the rains and loosed everything , machinery , paper etc ( I am a printer) Then my worst nightmare started to the point I spoke to the kids (7 at the time the twins) and 5 the liltle one and asked them what would they like to do go back to Australia or stay with me and mum to get things going again.
The answer unanimously they waned to get back to Australia; they looked at their mum when they were answering. I explained to them, that I wasn’t going to go as yet as I had to pay the bills and clear my name before I could return. My ex and I knew that wasn’t going to happening, she was living me for good there was no turning back there.

So 5 years later I found someone who really love me and stack by me and what I want to do etc.. And before we knew it we were living together and we were pregnant. The very moment I told this to my ex, the communication stopped between them and I. there was no answers to my emails, except that during one week she would call me 3 or 4 times every night begging me to comeback and crying etc… she confessed me that she manipulated everything and that she realized she did wrong, till then I always have given her the benefit of the doubt.

Now I and happy with my knew family and business is good and I live for my family, but every minute of the day I can’t stop thinking about my 3 princesses in Australia, growing up with hate and anger (you should see the emails I have received from them)
I don’t know anything about them, sometimes I get to hear that so and so was with them and how beautiful they are , etc, but these friends wont even give me their address, so I can at least send them a present or a letter or a picture. My new baby daughter( Alexia ) is also beautiful I must have a knack to make them (hahaha) resembles them in so many ways that makes me cry from the moment she wakes up to the moment she goes o bed she does thing and puts faces that my others daughters did as well. Depresses me so much that started to affect my relationship with my new beautiful wife. I can’t explain to her what goes trough my head and heart as she won’t like it and she will probably get jealous.

I don’t know what to do and I don’t know if I’ll ever get to see my three little Aussie princesses ever again and I don’t know if it wise for me to get into legal battles that financially will affect my current family.

Regards
Alex

Alex, it's a tough thing going through it alone, but even tougher I think when you do have a new partner or family.

The new partner can feel very isolated from that other life you have ie: children and it can put an enormous amount of strain on the relationship in so many ways you can't even begin to imagine, but a strong relationship will endure provided you both remember to love each other, support each other (she will need reminding that she is very much a part of your life in every way - my partner had an incredible knack with this). I have children of my own so knew how much my wonderful partner was missing his children (you can't hide that type of sadness that come from so deep within). If you do go down that track, I can give you a lot more insight into how your partner might feel.

My partner told me, like you, although I supported him 100% he was always frightened that I would run for the hills and he would lose me...because it was quite horrendous. It's a damned hard choice for you to make, and only you can make it.

Like your ex, my partners ex did the same thing. Left him and then regretted the decision when he met me. And like your ex, that's when my partners ex became truly nasty.

What you can do though is write like mad to your children through their email addresses if you have them. Continue to send letters and phone even if your ex won't put you through. Just keep trying.

Maybe sit your wife down and explain to her how much you love all of your children (she has one of her own from a previous marriage so should understand this feeling) and that you want to push a little harder for contact with them.

Your ex may also be terrified if the children go to you for holiday that you may not send them back. You may need to work hard to really reassure her of this.

Your kids I'm guessing are 14 and 12 now. They will start to make their own decisions on who and when they want to contact. Now is certainly the time to make your presence known, in a nice way.

Your 14 year olds will be in the adult world fully making their own decisions in about 4 years time. Get that contact going and who knows, they may decide of their own accord to go and visit you and their new baby sister.

Kae,

You are a very nice woman, thak you for your words yes you are right in every word you say. I have read some of the stories here written and it is truly sad some of them. one of the guys whom reply earlier told he was considering taking his life as he was false acused of molesting his child or something alone those lines, it is truly horrifying wahts goes trough a man`s head. I must admit idi considered going the same way just before i met my wife (Soledad) and eventhough she never noticed at what stage I was , she trully saved me by just been there. This pages contain so much pain that I dont know I should continue to geting into anymore.
Every day I listened to an Australian radio trough internet and I get additionally so home sick its not funny. gives me pleasure to listen the same old adds I used listen 11 years ago. I wish I could go back even for a few days jus to walk in the city and drink a nice coffe at the QVB , or a meat pie in manly or just go to a pub and drink a an larger. Now I found out that if I go to Australia with the child support demand I wont be able to leave the country. I miss Australia so much and the people and their smiling faces, here people are so ungry all the time...
I have spoken to my wife so we can go to live in Australia but she has a kid and her father wont let her leave the country.. so there I just got to stay here untill she turns 18 and decide what she wants. Meanwhile i`ll keep fantasizing that I `ll walk into my girls school and before they say anything just hugh them and kiss them eventhough afterwards they`ll kick me in the head. I wouldnt mind....
thanks KAE

You're most welcome. Who knows, your kids might just as easily give you a great big hug too.

They'll certainly have some questions. Maybe it's worth putting everything down into words so that you can give it to them when they're older.

Might help them to understand.