D4E thanks for encouragement.
I just do not know how they can do it.
It is obvious that state wants to burden any party who has money and not to take real action to provide help.
It is also scary that it almost never ends. If she has good reason, she can always pop out and ask for something.
I do not mind to pay direct payment for my child(playgroup, school, etc), I just do not want that my X spend money on partying boozing and cigarettes.
Do not forget I do not know where or with whom my X and my child lives.

Don't worry bleka your not alone in that sentiment, most fathers would like to see some form of accountability to make sure the money does get spent on the kids and there are a lot of mothers who do this and more.

Here most are subject to some form of abuse by opposing parents who seem to want to use children as an excuse to legitimize what they do and feel that they are deserving of classing CSA and government payments as a salary.

It's a long trek to where you want to be and it's hard to find a focus point because at every corner there is another door that seems to go nowhere, I'm of the opinion that most of us suffer from post traumatic stress compounded by short term depression because of the way it all happens, there is no doubt that abuse is a major part of thing but none of this gets recognized because all a woman has to do is express concern or fear and the system forgives them and we where the brunt.

Main thing you need to try and do is accept what is inevitable and trade off for what is possible.
You can't control how the money gets spent but you may be able to control the amount of time you get to see your son.

Unfortunately I am a pensioner so I don't pay CSA but I lost tens of thousands of dollars recoup-able monies in trade off for time with my daughter, a fair trade in my opinion but it still urks me that I had to pay blood money whilst the X once again dodges responsibility.

One thing we control is just how far and to what ends we choose to go.

I don't know of one person on the forum who would not give support to a father who chose to not pursue contact with their child/ren and this is because we know how much gets destroyed in the process but all who come through the other side and manage a relationship with their kids will tell you that the past slip away like a distant memory compared to the joy.

If you want to have contact details for your son and she refuses the court can make her if they deem it in the childs best interest, but always double check with a legal source.

Best of luck and remember it takes courage to even just post on the forum so you are moving forward just perhaps not as quick as you would like.

D4E, I can just say that you are great person and that we are lucky to have you on this forum.
Many thanks

If you have had time to read through this site one thing becomes obvious. The Family court System is extremely biased toward the Mother. or who ever has the major time share with the child(ren) (Read this as looks after the children the most) Eg If your partenr has moved out of the home then he/she is the one with the major time share.

Question for the Forum - Is it possible to put the funds that you want to protect in an account for your child(ren) with you as the custodian?

does this stop the X from getting the funds and spending it on themself instead of the children.?

Is there a court approved method to do this so that It can not be counted as your asset(s) thus protecting it for the time being?

I think that the answers to these questions will be of help to many.

As far as I know traolcoladis,

No such pony exists as far as I'm aware, everything is taken into consideration although I have heard of people trying this but coming unstuck especially if it is done before legal proceedings where you have to fill out all details, you may illegally try to hide such funds but if you are caught you will be done like the proverbial dogs diner and the same with CSA who have access to many resources to check such things through ATO etc.

As far as I know there is no way of stopping the X spending the money on what she pleases unless you talking about abuse, then when the child is removed whom ever is the guardian of the child receives that CSA payment for their care

The only thing I know exists is you can reduce your CSA by buying necessary items for the child keeping the receipts and claiming back from the CS oh and if there is extensive travel, I also think school fees enter this as well but I am not good with CSA etc so perhaps one with better knowledge may fill in the gaps or correct me.

Yeah take the money.

Whilst everything is taking its time to get to court your living a lavish life of entertaining yourself and young girls on a daily basis, Spending thousands of dollars a week that you have withdrawn from your account.

In reality your withdrawing the money from your account and passing it on to someone you trust to look after it.

No one seems to care when the blokes are overseas doing thy countrys bidding and their wives girlfriends have decided to move on whilst retaining the poor bastards hard earned dollars right up until the day they return. Its money that will never be returned to those unfortunate blokes.

I would not advocate taking the money. You don't know what will happen yet, and you will only make yourself look bad and give the ex ammunition against you. By all means secure the money in a legal way...

My guy's ex took 60% of the home proceeds when it was sold, 60% of his super, all the furniture and half of their savings...as well as getting a 4-figure monthly child support order for one early teen child which he has paid on time every time since they started living apart.

And two years later he has more than recovered that through hard work and saving. He bought a modest but nice house, it's gone up in value. He puts a lot into super and has much more now than when he did when they separated.

You can recover quite well if you stick at it. Don't let your bitterness about your ex bring you down.

Two years on my guy is happy in his relationship with me, his ex is bitter and nasty and resents that he has moved on. We still have issues with how she manages the child, but we are working on that.

Take the high road mate.

Your point being ?

One just has to take a look at a majority of single mothers out there. They had nothing prior to the relationship and throughout the relationship their only contribution was a child. They then live in this fantasy world that everyone owes them a living they take more than their fair share of entitlement from the relationship and still receive further funds till the child turns 18 or leaves school. They then seek out other partners if they havent already done so and do exactly the same thing.

A womans first cry to the court always revolves around domestic violence or their partner has psychological problems and therefore should not have the kids, let alone visitation. That is a true fact. Ive spent many years around the family courts and in recent years its become common practice.
Solicitors, judges and those uneducated cretons they call social workers and pscychologists advocate this garbage to keep themselves employed.

A female takes the money from a male and everyone says " that's OK " but when a male does the same to a female everyone complains.

So you reckon you can recover quite well if you stick at it . That's a very bold statement.

I can assure you it has nothing to do with bitterness its called equal rights.

I advocate taking the money and in turn taking the high ground. It is much easier to defend the high ground than it is to assault up it.

Now on a positive note Bella your partner is lucky to have a very supportive lady such as yourself, if it weren't for you being in the picture things could be very very different.

I took hk's comments as tongue in cheek and no real reflection on traolcoladis's suggestion.

There are dire consequences for mis-appropriating funds before settlement, even jail at least over here in the west.

You would be able to transfer funds into a declared account that is accessible and call it anything you like just as long as it is declared to the court, the problem being if you strip the accounts or hide money or assets from the court and it is discovered, some have done things as this from advice of consultants that has back fired, they have tried to protect what they see as the childrens assets and it has appeared they have tried to hide money.

We all know strong social opinion has no real effect on the execution of family law.

What What What...........is this.......

You've got to kidding me..........!!!!

If you both have access to the bank account then you both have the authority to withdraw funds...........Dude..!!!

It makes no difference whos done it you both have authorised access to the funds, and they cant do anything about it, unless they put a stop to it, but untill then it doesn't matter.........................Been there done that....!!!

The trogg stole 1500 bucks from me ages ago but it didn't matter it was a joint bank account and she had access........I was the Idiot not her Capish,,,!!!

If you jump into actions that with have adverse effects later in a case or is seen to be an attempt to reduce the equity of the parties it can have dire effects on aspects of property settlement.

I am not commenting on your personal situation pb2505 simply reflecting on the fact that people have been jailed for stripping asset pool.

People have also had assets frozen by the court because it appears that this has been attempted and others have had settlements altered through possible or suspected fraud.

Yes both parties have access to joint accounts and even joint mortgages but this does not mean removing funds from such accounts does not directly effect settlement.

Caution should always be followed and make sure you know what effects legally things have later on.

The difference it can make if the opposing party removes funds from a joint account is if this is declared in the asset pool it will be taken into consideration but you may need to press further to have it noted. One thing that can be done is to transfer the funds into a separate account and not to touch it until settlement is achieved but always show it as joint funds when you submit paperwork, this way it is being declared just not attainable and untouched.

But this is far away from putting money aside for the childrens future, this would still be viewed as stripping the account if you declare that you did this so she could not get her hands on it and use it before the kids needed it. It is part of the asset pool like it or not.