Good ponit D4 i tell alot of the young blokes around here especially one who is getting married next year, get a pre nupt that says in event of divorce we go 50/50 with the assests, and shared care of any children, provided both agree. I mean you cant force sharded care on anyone if they dont want to see the child hence provided they both agree, reason i told him you should do that is you are both in love and thinking straight and you will want to do what is right, as i was told the same thing dont want your money wont stop you seeing your kids etc etc, boy has that changed, like DR Phill said "You marry someone, but you divorce someone totally different". I think this should be in every marriage certificate it would keep the lawyers away and make it fair, even though most of us put more than %50 in it, it would be still alot better than what we get now (me %20), that way we both bring up our kids on a equal footing, then its up to each individual how they manage it.

Im not sure if this has been covered by previous posts but im not in a fit state to read mucha t the moment. If you at all can, then appease her. Don't fight until you have to 'cause my experience is that you will loose. Appease her doesnt mean giving in it means planning and thinking of the long term. Agree to her whims and desires and try to make a temporary plan that involves 50/50 custody without going down the legal route. Agree to anything and everything but try to establish a regular plan (even better if she signs something to the effect- i had this tabled in court). If and when you eventually go to court you will be able to show say a few weeks or few months of 50/50 contact and demonstrate that it is working. In the very least your affidavit will reflect the agreement and perhaps intimidate her into not going for full custody. That being said are you sure you want to give up your career? you will surely need the money when the c$a comes along...and they will...be prepared for back payments from the time she left also. Being a weekend dad might be the way to go. If she wants out no amount of counselling will save the marriage. Counselling only works if both people want to give it a go. keep your cards close to your chest and build ammunition for later use. Don't engage lawyers until you have to. They will rip you off blind. Its a goddam hard road your on...but i feel for you its not going to get easier for a year or two. Good luck mate

Katiesdad,
Firstly, best wishes for the relationship, it is not over yet!
If it is to be over, well so be it. You have friends on here before you even speak to them!
Be informed as much as you can, it always helps feeling so helpless at times!

Glenn

...Im still married and still chipping away at it... It is easy for happily married guys to ignore your plight until they find themselves in the shit.

I still think about people in your situation every day.

I wish you all the best of luck!

Good to see you back on the forum katiesdad,

I hope things are traveling a little better these days, hard to believe near on two years.

Dynamics must a changed a bit, your daughter must be close to kindy if not there already, my girl started young.

Hope all is well good to hear from ya.

Good to hear it katiesdad, you've done well.

DC