Hey all.. See if anyone can help me with this.. I work for an emerg services org and work a 4on/4off roster. My ex has requested that we arrange for weekend on/off arrangments. She has suggested that when i work weekends i wont be able to have the girls unless my new partner wants to collect them. I work 12 hrs days (2 days/2 nights) so when do i get to see them? I did ask to have them when i have 4 days off and that is a weekend, but alas the controlling nature of my ex stopped that one. Upside is that i see them 24 days out of 365!! This from a women who now has the man she had an affair with pratically living with her & my daughters!! I am still no better off financially, she refuses to give me any money! Its a shame that our ex's cant stop dictating to us and demanding more "pounds of flesh", it never ends! She lost on the moral count, now she wants to win on the the parent count!

Hey bretto

You probably already know that without consent orders in place it's all open to alteration, even with them it's still hard.

You should have access to the kids on your day's off for both your benefits and it's not a big request.

You will need to try mediation to solve the problem. If this fails then it's going through the system to court ect...

The system doesn't care what your trog did and neither do you because you have moved on.

Send her I nice letter requesting what you want and that this is best for the kids, if she refuses then invite her to mediation, if she refuses then follow the process through the legal system where they will expect mediation.

Aim for what you are comfortable with eg: every second weekend and half the school holiday's or the four day's you are off would be better if that suits you, it sounds like that will suit the kids and you and would be fair providing you can get them to school and such.

Good Luck D4E