Well this one is a curly one.

My five year old tells me the other day that Mum is buying her a Gecko.
A Gecko I thought, a bit of an unusual pet but why not just grab one out of the folage after all we live in the country. " Yeah Dad there really cool "
Ok nice of you to have a love for little creatures, " I'll be able to call you and everything " Ummmm strange thing to say why call me more when you have a lizzard.

A few day's pass and I see an advert in a Coles brochure.
A Fur*in mobile phone for juniors it is no less.
Now I'm all for Technological advancement and all that but please a mobile phone for a five year old, Am I missing something here ?
When she's at her mums there is no mobile reception, so I think that this is not for my benefit or for my daughter to call her Dad, not that I would sanction anything like this anyway.

So whats it for Hmmmmmm, Mum can call the Gecko and my daughter can call her Mums home when ever she wants too.
Great so now we have a technological gift that should be for a child who is perhaps venturing into society on their own being used to disrupt my daughters time in our home by her mother, now don't get me wrong if she wants to phone her mum there is a landline availible, but she never considers it because she is just doing her own thing and doesn't contemplate phoning her. Nice ploy X'sy give her a toy that she can play with that can be used to contact you so you can try to create guilt in a little girl because she is content having two homes.

Some may say that I am just being paranoid or over reacting but Alienation is not alway's in your face and bold, sometimes it is like cancer trying to eat away at a relationship, subtle litttle pushes guiding children with patients and precission.

So me being as subtle as a good quality house brick showed the advert to my daughter, who promptly shied away from the discussion till I re-assured her that I was comfortable with the fact her mother is buying one for her but that I had the opinion that it is a waste of money at her age. She then promptly asked me to cut it out so she could show mum which I did, mumarrives to pick daughter up for her sisters birthday, out comes the add " Oh so you've told Dad I'm buying you a gecko", " Yep " I answer " And I think it's a load of crap, she won't be able to call her Dad on it there's no reception out your way ".

But I ask you a five year old Am I being over sensative.

Any Ideas out there on this one good or Bad ?

G'day D4E,
I think you've hit the nail on the head with what you've said.
It is like a cancer isn't it.
Just wait and see how it pans out. If you are right just turn it off while your girl is with you.

DC

Personally I don't think kids should have mobile phones at such a young age, do those things still have excessive radiation or was that just the old mobile phones?

Reasonable telephone contact is one thing, but if the mother is convincing the child that she needs to keep in touch regularily then that would be imposing on your contact time. The landline phone should be sufficient.

There can be benefits for a child having access to a mobile phone, the first thing that comes to mind is in emergency situations. A relative of mine left her children with their father and their son had a mobile phone and needed to use it for an emergency.

If your ex is supplying the phone, is she willing to accept that your daughter could lose it, or even accidently break it, or even phone anyone in the world on it and rack up a nice heafty phone bill. Would she be willing to pay the ongoing costs?

I can see a problem as to who would have control over the phone too, your ex will be giving the phone to your daughter who might think she can use it at anytime she likes. What's to say she does not wake up at 3am after having a bad dream and she phones mum, who immediately jumps into panic mode and lands on your door step.

Telephone contact should be for reasonable voice access, mobile phones can present a problem if the telephone contact becomes excessive. You are entitled to your allocated time, and given reasonable telephone contact a mobile phone would be a waste of time unless your ex agree's to you holding the phone until a reasonable hour of the day to allow your daughter to phone her.

As for your daughter being able to phone you, I doubt that is the intention of the mobile phone, would your ex agree to you supplying a direct line at her place for your daughter to phone you at anytime she wants to?

I tend to think a mobile phone for a 5 year old is way over the top.

Having said that and knowing D4E. I would suggest 2 actions.

1/ Make sure little miss knows how to turn the phone on and off.

2/ Make sure dads number is programmed into the phone and little miss knows how to call it up.

What is good for the goose and what is good for the gander.

or in other words it will being interesting whether little miss is allowed to ring Dad using her gekko. It is a subtle trap for mum. If mum persists in ring little miss while she is busily involved in what ever at dads, I suspect litle miss will simply turn the phone off. That is if she even bothers to reamin concerned about the phones where abouts after arriving at Dads. And if mum refuses to let little miss use her phone to call Dad, little miss will have one more illustartion of mums attitude.

All valid points,

As far as I know the Gecko has two main identiy numbers " Mum and Dad " they are quick dial, hit mum dial mum hit Dad dial Dad.
The fact that both mum and Dad are encorperated as quick dial say's something about the new nuclear family, not home and work but mum and Dad.

The first thing my daughter will be taught is there is no guilt assosiated with loss or breakage and that it will be basically a toy.

I won't take responsibility for cost or ongoing cost, simply because I disagree with the entire concept of her having a mobile phone at such a young age not only is it unneccesary but it is teaching her elitism from her peers. Giving a child bragging rights about materialistic things that have exorbiant comercialistic value.
No wonder the cost of bringing up children is increasing so rapidly if things like this become the expected norm.

I will turn it off and put it in a safe place when she is in my care and when she ask's for it I will give it to her. Point being out of sight out of mind. Once put out the way it will simply collect dust until she goes to her mothers.

After reading the posts and a bit more thinking I have come to the conclusion that this is simply a desperate measure from her mother because she feels her littlest child is not so dependant on her.
Maybee her littlest child simply wants mum to simply interact with her at the age level she is at not treat her like a baby and smother her.

My daughter thinks it's great to be treated like a big kid and have a mobile like the other 3 of her sibblings and her mum thinks it will draw my daughter back in to dependancy of her mother with sad voices of " I miss you so much " and desperatly trying to not end the phone call with the little game of " No you hang up first " that last for five minutes with mum and about 40 seconds with Dad.

It would be funny if she used the phone to ring Dad at Dads as a game.
Hell I don't care I'm not footing the bill and after all at five everything that doesn't hurt you should be used for play.

Let your Children be Children I say

Thanks all for prior responses, let me know if you think I'm going overboard or not

Well as expected the ol' geeko was a short lived exercise, now I don't have a problem with extra calls being made on special events like the first day of school excetra, but they should alway's be requested by the other parent. Now if a phone call comes through early on the day of the usual phone contact day you would expect not to recieve a phone call two hours later, at least this was what was decided pre-geeko.

Simple solloution geeko is now switched off and put out of sight childs interest in item zero. Out of sight out of mind, it will not get switched on till ten minuets prior to aranged call.

Now of course mum will paint me wicked and controlling and truth be known I am controlling, I am controlling unnecessary phone contact that has not been requested that has been initiated to disrupt the status quo, no matter.
But realise this, if my daughter was full time with myself and every second weekend with her mum then the phone would remain on as a source of contact, but as we are week about with 2 phone contact nights I see no necessaty for this.

I realise this item is exciting for my daughter to have but I also realise that it is an item that she should not have and is a waist of time and money as well as giveing her some very unhealthy messages about material posessions.