Hi Ho Hi Ho it's f to court we go

Mediation went a stray we all knew it would any way

Hi Ho Hi Ho Hi Ho

Hi Ho HI Ho

Another letter came in the post today Hi Ho

Hi Ho Hi Ho

Hi Ho

The end is on it's way Hi Ho Hi Ho Hi Ho

Soon well know if the judge will see it my way

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Time to work and get it all straight Hi Ho Hi Ho Hi Ho


In all seriouseness it's time for me to put what I've learnt to practical use and stay focused, I will be posting many questions through the process and sharing my experiances. For better or worse it will be sorted out fairly soon. ( in FLC time could be a year or so ? )
Unless the contact games start.

Wish me luck all for when the time comes.

All the best D4E! Do keep us posted as I have no doubt with the changes happening out there, it would be helpful to be able to talk through some of the processes and for others to hear what to expect.

Keep yer chin up!

Thanks 2ndfamily

I am in the process of offering a solloution to avoid proceeding to court but I do not believe it will be accepted. I am starting to believe there is a deeper purpose to it all. But in saying that to refuse to counter negotiate will look bad on the other party.

BEST OF LUCK TO YOU D4E. nOW ITS TIME FOR YOU TO USE SOME of the advice you have given to me. Stay strong and focused, Let us know how you go. Thinking of you mate.

Amen to that gaz

Thank goodness for filing systems.

I know right now I am very serene and focused ( after the big wobly I chucked cause she got in first )

I do have to watch one thing though, I know all her moves and very often her inconsistancies and double standards that you can drive a truck through amuse me. She tries to be all that and I just get this big smirk on my face. I'll have too keep an eye on that.

As you say, any sensible counter offer knocked back without "discussion" or negotiation by the other party will indeed look grim to the Court. That was something Hubby's solicitor initially was very big on when the other party announced her pregnancy, but refused to enter into property settlement negotations until the child was born.

The Judge couldn't see the point of why she delayed it (neither could we).

Sometimes I think they keep the battles ongoing just to keep a form of contact up. Sounds silly eh. But once they have settled, that is well and truly the end of the matter and the need to know what the other party is doing in their lives.

I think its still a form of control for them.

You could well be right 2ndfamily,

Although I could say my case is a little different, that is something we could all say.
A factor of control and refusing to reliquish it, combined with a touch of I will stall till I get what I want in there as well.
Whilst this has been happening I have continued to try to mediate and have allowed time to pass to reassemble and try again.

Something ( der obviouse ) told me that she would not mediate on the things that went against her.

Now there is no option but to follow due process.

All the best!

Another lawyers letter " Without Prejudice " of course, impecably timed to arrive as my daughter is to go back too her mums making demands of telling my legal represntative to respond to their demands.

Hmmmmm

The too and fro seems a lot closer this round of battle, it's only beena week or so since the requested the court to hear the matter.
there must be a lot of thought that goes into the subtle pressure that legal representatives put on their opponents. The letter is an obviouse attempt to make things happen at their clients pace.

Or it is simply a ploy to secure more money from their client ? Send a letter, get a response, ring the client up and rub those gready little fists together.

Of course the letter should be responded to but until I have all information clear in my head and it has been edited to suit the new terminology ( by support of friend ) then whats the rush ?

Consent orders usually take time to achieve a foolproof soloution to problems that have been introduced by the agressor, they need time to draft and if they have to stop the aggresor taking advantage in the future they had best be right.

I am being assisted in this progress because my drafts were in the old lingo so deemed unaceptable to the court.

And I will say a kindest thanks to this person as it reduces pressure from the whole cooker.

All the best D4E, I can only assume they are writing within increasing frequency to "appear" to be doing something, so they too can show the court of a paper trail. But yes, it could also do with justifying their final account to your ex'.
I know hubby's ex hit the roof when she received her full accounts, and lodge a complaint with the Law Society. Geese I would love to have a read of that!

Others have attested that the process we have to follow is one that takes time, I expect that it will be i the frame of months before the first approaches are made, which I have been told by the FLC will be a meeting based on mediation.

I have excepted the inevitable that it will proceed to a magistate and that I will need to re-asses the already complied document from the last episode when it went to court mediation, and of course add more relevant information too them.

But after reading one of the more recent post's I now find myself mentally primming myself for the comming court appointment, I am constantly thinking of questions and answers that may be ask of myself or I may ask the trog.
I have started a book on the questions I feel may be inportant and poinient to ask and need more explanation, and thus if they are attempted to be explained will open more of a wound from a retort.
I find myself prepairing answers that are sinlgular responses that can be backed or a response that requires a more specific question be ask instead of a generalised negative result.

Each time this happens I make a note and try to establish documented proof or at least to re-connect with the event as to why I thought it may have been used as a question that can put me in a negative light, and lets face it words are easily twisted as is their delivery by an eliquent lawyer.

I am quickly comming to hands with the fact that you can not accuse someone of wrong doing directly but rather you need to set a trap for them to fall into and if they deny your statement then you need to back it up with evidence.

If anyone who has been through this and they can suggest their negative experiances and how the court reacted what they said or the way it was said I would greatly appreciate it.

Even if your lawyer or the oppositions lawyer made a foopha.

Thanks too all.

Hi D4E, thanks mate your sharing is very powerful for you and others. You will understand one day just how much.
It is a high pressure situation and mistakes can and do come. I've made the odd one that usually consists of snapping back with a response when something derrogatory or untrue is said.
I have found that the short written statements are great for mentions and directions. In hearings you can give the longer versions. I read and re-read everything ten times and I have still reacted the wrong way, made spelling errors or omitted important things. I have seen my solicitor as well as hers (among others) do the same. As long as you mind your manners and admit any mistakes it is usually ok.
I practice pausing whenever anybody speaks to me nowadays wherever I am and whatever I am doing and I listen to what is being said before I respond. This helps a lot. I try to only say what needs to be said and not add anything that will make me be there longer than I have to be.
I'm with you more than you know lately. I have to file again. I wish I didn't have to. While I hate the act for what it does (or should I say, doesn't) I appreciate and respect the court for what I've been able to achieve in it.
Good luck with your matter, I hope you and your kids see some justice.
Hang in there
Chris

Hi Ho Hi Ho

Openend the letter box today held the letter and gained that all too familiar sinking feeling that hits you from recieving an official letter.

procedural hearing within the month.

So I hopped on the web sights checked the guts of it all, yep another meeting to let us know whats happening and the next steps we will be told to take.

No worries I've did all the paperwork a couple of years ago and have it chroniclised from a previouse anal period.
Just a spruse up and a few aditions add the divorce crap in... Yeah that'll be fine now I will just have to knuckle down and re-write the consents as best I can with the new lingo..

The more I type the more confident I am.

The one question I have is how much to you divulge to the opposition at this stage ? Do you have to provide all to the registra or can you keep some back without effecting your chance ?

Any opinions will be helpful, thanks in advance.

D4E

Hi JamesH

this is the second bite at the apple from over a year ago, No new affridavit has found it's way too me so all info is well old, it doesn't quite make sense to me why the courts have chosen this path but there you go.