This was written by an 8-year-old named Danny Dutton, who lives in Chula Vista, CA. He wrote it for his third grade homework assignment, to "explain God." I wonder if any of us could have done as well?

He was given such an assignment in California, and someone published it!!!
I guess miracles do happen !


EXPLANATION OF GOD:


"One of God's main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the ones that die, so there will be enough people to take care of things on earth. He doesn't make grownups, just babies. I think because they are smaller and easier to make. That way he doesn't have to take up his valuable time teaching them to talk and walk. He can just leave that to mothers and fathers."

"God's second most important job is listening to prayers. An awful lot of this goes on, since some people, like preachers and things, pray at times beside bedtime. God doesn't have time to listen to the radio or TV because of this. Because he hears everything, there must be a terrible lot of noise in his ears, unless he has thought of a way to turn it off."

"God sees everything and hears everything and is everywhere which keeps Him pretty busy. So you shouldn't go wasting his time by going over your mom and dad's head asking for something they said you couldn't have."

"Atheists are people who don't believe in God. I don't think there are any in Chula Vista. At least there aren't any who come to our church."

"Jesus is God's Son. He used to do all the hard work, like walking on water and performing miracles and trying to teach the people who didn't want to learn about God. They finally got tired of him preaching to them and they crucified him But he was good and kind, like his father, and he told his father that they didn't know what they were doing and to forgive them and God said O.K."

"His dad (God) appreciated everything that he had done and all his hard work on earth so he told him he didn't have to go out on the road anymore. He could stay in heaven. So he did. And now he helps his dad out by listening to prayers and seeing things which are important for God to take care of and which ones he can take care of himself without having to bother God. Like a secretary, only more important."

"You can pray anytime you want and they are sure to help you because they got it worked out so one of them is on duty all the time."

"You should always go to church on Sunday because it makes God happy, and if there's anybody you want to make happy, it's God!

Don't skip church to do something you think will be more fun like going to the beach. This is wrong. And besides the sun doesn't come out at the beach until noon anyway."

"If you don't believe in God, besides being an atheist, you will be very lonely, because your parents can't go everywhere with you, like to camp, but God can. It is good to know He's around you when you're scared, in the dark or when you can't swim and you get thrown into real deep water by big kids."

"But...you shouldn't just always think of what God can do for you. I figure God put me here and he can take me back anytime he pleases.



And...that's why I believe in God."

Atheist in Trouble

An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air. Then it opened its mouth to swallow both.

As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, "Oh, my God! Help me!"

At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place, and as the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds, "I thought you didn't believe in Me!"

"Come on God, give me a break!!" the man pleaded. "Two minutes ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either!"

Such is the Nature of Atheism .

Colin S

Saying Grace in a Restaurant!

Last week, I took my children to a restaurant.

My six-year-old son asked if he could say grace. As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Mom gets us ice cream for dessert. Amen!"

Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!"

Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?"

As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job, and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table. He winked at my son and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer."

"Really?" my son asked.

"Cross my heart," the man replied. Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), "Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes."

Naturally, I bought my kids ice cream at the end of the meal.

My son stared at his for a moment, and then did something I will remember the rest of my life.

He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, "Here, this is for you. Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes; and my soul is good already."

The End

That was priceless. Thank you.

The lord works in mysterious ways, and from my experience particularly likes using children to bring adults down a peg or two.

I hope the thilds mum bought another Icecream for junior....he definitely deserved it.

My Prayers

Prayer for Those Who Have Committed Suicide



Bless, O God of eternal life,
all who have died
by their own hand.
Grant them peace
from their inner turmoil
and the compassion of your love.
Comfort those who mourn
their loved ones.
Strengthen them to face the questions of pain,
the guilt and anger,
the irreparable loss.
Help us to reach out in love
to others who prefer death
to the choices of life
and to their families who grieve.
Amen.


Prayer for Those Coping With Depression

Dear Lord, you are our refuge in good and in bad times. In your infinite mercy, bring peace and comfort to those of us who face days sometimes filled with pain and depression. Help us to realize that through you there is joy and the promise of lasting peace. Help us through the rough times. Walk before and beside us so that we may walk in your footsteps and reach out to you in our journey on this earth. Help us to focus on our blessings rather than our misfortunes, dear Lord. Thank you for hearing and answering our prayers. Amen


Prayer in Time of Trouble

Lord, in every need let me come to You with humble trust saying, "Jesus, help me."
In all my doubts, perplexities, and temptations,
In hours of loneliness, weariness, and trials, Jesus, help me.
In the failure of my plans and hopes; in disappointments, troubles, and sorrows, Jesus, help me.
When others fail me and Your grace alone can assist me, help me.
When I throw myself on Your tender love as a father and saviuor.
When my heart is cast down by failure at seeing no good come from my efforts, help me.
When I feel impatient and my cross irritates me,
When I am ill and my head and hands cannot work and I am lonely, help me.
Always, always, in spite of weakness, falls, and shortcomings of every kind, Jesus, help me and never forsake me.
Amen.


Prayer of Despair

I have been rejected and despised;
I am hurting and destroyed by the pain.
I am angry with others and with you, O God,
for there is no comfort, none anywhere.
I call your name and you are absent.
I wonder why you let me suffer so.
My cries echo in the universe
and ring in my ears
and I am weary of the taste of my tears.
Hear my plea, O God of love.
Let me not be destroyed
by this agony on the brink of death.
I am like a broken reed,
fragile and crushed.
Hear my plea, O God of love.
Let me not be destroyed, and forgive me, when I botch things up.
Amen.

For the Children who teach us , may we
be not too proud to.. listen ...to learn.

Yet as we pray Lord ,may we be truly mindful of the great lessons you teach to us, through our children, and the children of others.Also for the many stories and jokes, which help us each to cope , and be thankful each day. So be it.
Colin , this is my talk with God. (prayer)

What Nationality Were Adam and Eve?

A Briton, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.

"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."

"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."

"No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. They are Russian."


Apple ??? Who said it was an apple?

Colin

The Horse-Sense

Just up the road from my home is a field, with two horses in it. From a distance, each looks like every other horse. But if one stops the car, or is walking by, one will notice something quite amazing.

Looking into the eyes of one horse will disclose that he is blind. His owner has chosen not to have him put down, but has made a good home for him. This alone is amazing.

Listening, one will hear the sound of a bell. Looking around for the source of the sound, one will see that it comes from the smaller horse in the field. Attached to her bridle is a small bell. It lets her blind friend know where she is, so he can follow her.

As one stands and watches these two friends, one sees how she is always checking on him, and that he will listen for her bell and then slowly walk to where she is, trusting that she will not lead him astray.

Like the owners of these two horses, God does not throw us away just because we are not perfect or because we have problems or challenges. He watches over us and even brings others into our lives to help us when we are in need. Sometimes we are the blind horse being guided by God and those whom he places in our lives. Other times we are the guide horse, helping others see God.

We can say to a friend in need " you're not heavy , as you're my brother /sister!"

AND GOD SAID THE WORLD I STILL LOVE! Government's I control
To: Colin Spratt from Lorraine

Subject: Noah in Woy-Woy in 2007


In the year 2007, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in
Woy-Woy, Australia and said, "Once again, the earth has become
wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.
You need to build another Ark and have 2 of every living thing along
with a few good humans.

You have 6 months to build the Ark before I start the unending rain
for 40 days and 40 nights".

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his
yard - but no Ark.

Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?

Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed
a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the
need for a sprinkler system. My neighbours claim that I've violated
the neighbourhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and
exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development
Appeal Board for a decision.

Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted
for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead
obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea.
I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they wouldn't listen.

I couldn't convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the
bandicoots but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued
me for confining wild animals against their will. They said it was
cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the local council ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until
they'd conducted an Environmental impact study on your
proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights
Commission on how many indigenous people I'm supposed to hire for my
building crew.

The Immigration department is checking the status of most of the
people who want to work and I've even had a letter from Amanda
??????? asking about my ethnic background!
The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to
hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.

To make matters worse, the Taxation department has seized all my
assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with
endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to
finish this Ark.
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
stretched across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to
destroy the world?"

No," said the Lord. "The Government beat me to it."

Yes the Story is indeed both Funny and Ironical , hope you enjoy it, submitted by Lorraine Thanks Lorraine , Colin S

The Real Events of the flood : Genisis chapter 6.....to chapter 9

The Agreement with us regarding the Rainbow. "Never again will I destroy the earth ........Genisis Chapter 9 : verses 12 to17 worth a read.

"There is no authority which God has not established " Romans chapter 13 : verses 1 - 6 ...."do what is right and you will ..... be commended"

Colin S

To find other topics and the 'odd' church joke , click on View Previous post
at the top of each page on this forum . This will give you further info and resources. To talk with me personally please call 02 6656 2495 Sunday's , Wednesday's and Friday's between 8pm and 10pm. And speak on issues you wish to have answered, or added to the Forum. You are always welcome on my 'turf'. I don't preach , I speak with you and carefully listen to you. Thanks Colin Spratt

' MAY WE RECALL THE TRACES ON OUR MINDS

A Tribute : to each who visit this web site and ALL Forum Topics.

FIND ON THIS WONDERFUL QUEST OF LIFE
ENOUGH HAPPINESS TO GO AROUND
ENOUGH ROAD BLOCKS TO BECOME STRONGER
ENOUGH SORROWS TO KEEP A GOOD SOUL
ENOUGH PRAYER , TO BE CONTENT WITHIN

THE HAPPIEST PEOPLE DON'T NECESSARILY HAVE EVERYTHING
THEY SIMPLY UTILISE ALL THE POTENTIAL IN WHAT LIFE HAS TO OFFER

LIFE AWAITS , FOR ALL ALL THE TEARS ALL THE DOUBTS
AND ALL THE FEARS
FOR DADS THE MUMS THE KIDS THE TEENS
FOR THE SUFFERER, FOR THE ONE WHO
SEARCHES , ....FOR THE DEVOTED ONE'S,...
FOR THE ONE WHO LOVES,...
BECAUSE ONLY THOSE WHO CARE, CAN TRULY
APPRECIATE THE IMPORTANCE OF THE PEOPLE, THE EXPERIENCES
WHICH LEAVE THEIR TACES IN OUR LIVES.

FORGET THE PAST AS BEST YOU CAN,
LEAVE BEHIND THE THE MISTAKES AND SORROWS,
LOVE IS BORN WITH A SMILE, AND LOVE
MAY MATURE WITH A HUG OR KISS
IF REMEMBERING THE PAST,
RECALL THOSE WHO LEFT A DELIGHTFUL
SOUND, WHO LEFT TRACES IN YOUR
LIFE AND MIND.

LET US PONDER ON THESE AWHILE
THE ONE WHO MADE YOU SMILE
WHEN YOU NEEDED IT MOST!
THE ONE'S WHO MADE IT EASY TO SEE THE GOOD THINGS
WHEN ONLY DARKNESS ,....WAS YOUR LIGHT.
SO RECALL IF YOU WILL.......ALL THOSE ,
WHO LEFT TRACES IN YOUR MIND
AND DON'T FORGET THE TRACES , OF WHICH ,YOU,...HAVE LEFT BEHIND.

CS



Welcome to all.
To view other Posts and Topics on this, and each Forum Topic .
Go to the top right hand of the opening page , click on 'VIEW PREVIOUS TOPIC '

A DADS' PRAYER to my 3 'kids' by cs


This is the best dowry of hopes, wishes and prayers I would be able to offer:

May God give you the grace of wit and wisdom to understand that rainbows are only the result of showers, dust, and hope.

May you always have joy in the morning and trust in the evening and may your sorrows be short and without scars.

May your lives have a spirit neither bent by belligerence nor broken by failure; may you simply love each other.

May you share with each other spring flowers, dirty dishes, music, rain, death, mushrooms, a measure of boredom, strawberries, and God.

May that God never make you immune to the wonderful afflictions of real love, making you instead farsighted to each other's faults, tongue-tied to criticism, and short of memory to petty hurts and slights.

May God provide the confidence and serenity that comes only from the assurance of each other's fidelity and the tolerance, as years go by, of wrinkles and grey hairs, short tempers, and Monday mornings. (sorry i'm not a Monday person ! cs)

May no one steal from you the precious children's laughter at the top of the stairs or giggles and whispers in a dark room.

May you keep a hunger for each other, the appetite to taste tomorrow, and deep knowledge of and devotion to your past, heritage and families.

May you perpetuate trust, the radiation of vitality, kind answers to sharp questions and sharp humor to unkind attitudes.

May your fights be fierce and short, and may each truce be warm and long and held in each other's arms before the sun comes up.

May you walk with wise men, sing loud songs at late hours, share secrets, have healthy children, and provide smiles for lonesome strangers and prayers for those without hope.

May you never forget small things; smiles, birthdays, holding hands, family, old friends, the neglected, and the simplicity of saying please and thank you.

May you keep a warm, generous, and happy house where love is the insulation and God is present. May your children be friends of God's child, Jesus.

May your union bring a smile to the face of the Holy Spirit and may he live in your pots and pans, in your hope and aspirations.

And may God become real to you, if not already

Colin S 'The chief of sinner's, though now forgiven and humbled by life.'

Well, today is Sunday,

And traditionally it is the day we are told is best day for churching. Which Church is a word that means a meeting place. The building may be ornate, or it may be in someones home, or under the shade of a gumtree. For the Church according to God Himself is the people.

The people who He says, "When two or three are meeting together in my name, their I am in their midst".........It doesn't take many to meet for Church, yet He knows what is helpful and so asks of us as we are able to meet and find encouragement and to understand Him for who He is in a Father -Son, Father -Daughter relationship.

God not only speaks of being a Father...which may I say some Christian Meetings have lost sight of, but being a Mother ,...and gives an examples of a hen caring for her young under her wings. Jesus speaks of us as being Brothers and Sisters many many times , and all of Christ......ianity is relational.......not only of laws.

There is no law that Love does not cover. And there are no laws that can meet and be like Love, other than to show our relational love by learning and putting into practice day by day our obedience to God who only wants our obedience to acknowlege who He is, and to obey for our own good, as any Father or Mother wishes for their child.

The finest and most valued living of life is about relationships. "If as you Father's know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more as your Heavenly Father do I give you good gifts " (cs Aussie - Land parraphrase.) It is better in the Book.

If it were not so, the great worth of relationships , then when a relationship of value ends, we would not feel and endure the most intense and agonising pain of loss and aloneness which for some can be almost too hard to endure.
Our Heavenly Father tells us that he will not allow us to suffer, more so than that which is common to mankind, and with His help, He will help us endure and find the way through.
There is never a way around...only a way through.God allows that for each of us. We need not end our lives , we need to begin it again with Him helping us.

Thank You for This Amazing Day


i thank You God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

I who have died am alive again today, SAYS JESUS
and this is the sun’s birthday; this is the birth
day of life and love and wings: and of the gay
great happenings of each new day.

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any-lifted from the no
of all nothing-human merely being
doubt unimaginably of You?

now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened

Any day is The Lord's Day, and every day is the Lord's day. So we have just Churched together.
Christianity is not about being good, it is about a good relationship with a good God, and with one-another, as best as humanly possible.

May God enrich and encourage you through others which is often the way he works out His love for us.

Colin S Once a chief of rebell against God , now no better than others, yet in friendship with Him because of what Jesus did on our behalf. Set us free to live life to the full , knowing who made the world and gave us to enjoy all the diversity of wonderful things and each of us within it.

Colin S

my 8 yo daughter asked me on the weekend ...

if humans evolved from apes where does adam and eve fit in (translated)

she learnt evolved from apes etc at school and she is now confused.

I could not think of an appropriate answer to give her so could some one enlighten me please

and please no washy ones, she will sus them

My six year old has recently asked to go to Sunday School because of relious teachings in school.

I will first inform her mother that I will take her so she can experiance the social aspect, and I will answer her questions to the best of my knowladge scientifically as well as religiously.

In saying this when explaining religion I always express the basic beliefs of other religions so she can see that there is not just one principal religion and that they are all based on faith by the devotee.

My personal opinion of the bible is that it contains many useful life lessons as do many other religious beliefs.

I sincerly believe that religion should be a choice made by consent and not forced upon others.

I also expressed that " some people believe " and if she ask's if that is what I believe I tell her but I also express that I respect others for their choice even if it is not the same as mine.

As more is found out about our earth then more is accepted by religion to the point that Darwinism is accepted yet does not effect a persons faith in God.
Faith is not about proof in difinitives and as parts of the bible may not hold up to scrutiny of other beliefs and religions it the faith in the morals and stories that are important to many not the proof of their occurance.

Care should be taken to expressed science and faith whilst not imposing predjudice and percecution of others beliefs.

You may even want to go down the path of the moral value of expression that the story portrey's and it is how people thought of the begining of man kind.

I guess it's always nice to be able to speak to someone when it seems no-one else is listening.

I used to tell my dog everything when I was a wee boy, he was good at listening and he licked my face to let me know I was important, maybee there was more than just him listening.

Dear Aussie
Thank you for your question about apes and where do Adam & Eve fit in?And how humans began, I guess you are asking is it?

You have learned about something which is called a theory. That is to say that it not proved. People can believe something but that does not makle it true.It should be told to you what it is--a theory.

We are very different from monkeys and apes although some things are alike. They cannot speak,build, create, read and many other things.Besides that we don't have the evidence of the inbetween apes becoming men and women, or boy's and girls, so where are the ape men today. And if we believe we come from apes, why have we put some of the apes in a prison called a zoo.

I believe that we are very special people made like God in many ways. We can plan, love and experience joy. I don't believe creatures can change into other animals. Dogs will always have little dogs and never anything else. But there are many kinds of dogs and people.
ALso if people are made like God in many ways like Adam & Eve the first people, I can treat them with love and respect because they and you are very important to God. I don't hink you would be as special if we had all come from Apes and monkeys.
PLease write back and let us know if you would like to say more. Again thank you for your very important question.
From my friend who teaches Scripture with 10-12 yeay olds in Newcastle NSW

Colin S