Hi everybody. This is my first post. I wasn't sure where to post it so please feel free to move it if it's in the wrong place.

I have three children. Two daughters to the ex who live in Sydney somewhere, and a son to my present wife.

My present wife is without a doubt the most wonderful person I have ever met and without her I would definitely have been swinging from a tree by now. I am bloody lucky that she came into my life, as not only is she incredibly loving and generous, but she is also a qualified professional in her field who has a fairly high income, so she has been able to support me financially through all the troubled times. From what I've read in these forums, most of you however aren't so lucky and have to go to the wall regularly just to make ends meet.

The reason I'm posting here is because I'm on the verge of giving up and I am apprehensive to try anymore. I haven't seen, spoken to, or have heard any trace of my daughters in over 18 months. I used to receive report cards and newsletters from the schools (paid for by me), but the schools have informed me that my daughters are no longer students there. I have no phone number, no address, nothing.

We have been sending presents, letters etc to the last address that we had and it always get returned in hand-writing that I don't recognize so I can safely assume that they don't live there anymore. We have tried sending presents and letters to my former mother-in-law's address, and on one occasion, it was returned in what was clearly the ex's handwriting. I have no idea if my daughters are receiving anything.

My former mother-in-law just hangs up on me, or says that she doesn't want to get involved, and then hangs-up. To say the least, this has had a significant emotional impact on myself, my wife (who adores them both), and my 6-year old son (who loves and misses them dearly).

We have a court order in place, which, quite honestly, isn't worth the paper it is written on, as it has been breached that many times I've lost count. Every time we go back to court and lodge a breach notice the judge simply slaps the ex on the wrist and tells her not to do it again. To date, we have spent over $30k in legal fees for little to no result.

I won't go into the full details of everything here as I would be writing a novel by the time I finish. The story is huge, and I'm sure you've all been there yourselves. False allegations, false DVOs, false AVO's, lies, brain-washing, the whole nine-yards.

The reason why I am apprehensive about pursuing the matter any further is because of DOCS here in Qld. About a week after the very last contact visit that I had 18 months ago, my wife received a phone call from DOCS.

DOCS stated to her that they had received a report of alleged abuse of the children (my wife and I only have one child) by the father ie myself. DOCS also stated that they had contacted my son's day care center for a report , and that they needed to interview my wife and my son. Needless to say, this felt like my guts had been ripped out. I had never been violent towards either the ex or my wife, and I had never laid a hand on any of my children in anger. I do in fact have a scar on the left side of my head where the ex threw a 2-Litre full bottle of cordial at my head, but that's another story.

Two sleepless days later, DOCS interviewed my wife and son. During the interview, they asked questions that made it quite obvious that the ex was the one who made the complaint. Questions that referred to 'the girls have alleged....', and 'the children have said....', even though my son is the only child who lives with my wife and I full-time.

During the interview, the interviewer asked my son to draw some pictures of his family. The pictures he drew were of all of us, his sisters included, and we all had smiley faces (hardly the picture of an abused child). My son also presented as being very happy throughout the interview, and apparently said that he loves his Mum and Dad very much. Thankfully, the day care center's report stated that there was no sign of abuse and that the matter was ludicrous.

By the end of the DOCS interview, the interviewer made the statement that it seemed as though the complaint made may have been vexatious, and that he would be recommending that the file be closed. He apologized to my wife for having to put her and my son through the interview, but because of the complaint, and the fact I had previously had a DVO against me they had an obligation to investigate. The DVO that I had was issued over ten years ago by the ex when she left and lasted a grand total of five days before it was thrown out of the magistrates court. Obviously mud sticks, even if the court does throw it out.

The interviewer did however state that should DOCS receive any further complaints they will have to investigate further and they may look at removing our son from us whilst the investigation takes place.

This is why I am scared to pursue my daughters. It would appear that I have lost them for now. I am not going to lose my son as well (who is now almost seven). I am not going to risk pissing the ex off by pursuing the matter when she has the potential to phone DOCS and make another vexatious complaint against me.

The only reason I can think of for the ex doing this is that she has re partnered and now has two children to her new parter. My daughters are apparently forced to call the new partner 'Dad' so that the younger children don't get confused. The ex has replaced my permanently and she doesn't want me to have any further contact at all, and by making a vexatious complaint to DOCS, it would be enough to scare me away. Well, so far, it has worked.

I can only hope that one day my daughters come and look me up. They are now aged 13 and 9, and I believe they are in the Windsor/Richmond are of Sydney, but I'm not sure.

Any advise would be appreciated. I have to tread carefully. We would all like to have a relationship with the girls, but not at the expense of my son. I am not prepared to risk having my son removed by DOCS Qld whilst they investigate another vexatious complaint made by the ex because she's pissed off that I had the temerity to request a relationship with my daughters. I have been told that DOCS can be ruthless when dealing with these matters, so I would rather stay out of their way.

The sad thing is that the ex and her mother are probably right now brain-washing the girls, withholding all the presents and letters we send down, and then saying that I don't want anything to do with them. I have tried to talk to the new partner and he refuses to talk to me, instead calling me a wife basher and a violent so-and-so.

I feel that the only way I can deal with this is to simply give up and let go of the girls for now, and hope that they will make contact one day. Any thoughts?

Sorry for the long post. Thanks for the opportunity. Cheers.

Don't give in mate. I'm not sure how much time you got to see your daughters but don't walk away.

Take it back to court list every offence she has made of breaching the orders and also list the DOCS ruling or see if you can have the ruling as part of your affidavit.

I can never understand how rules can be made but never followed. Maybe try using a different solicitor or doing it yourself.

Your X can not take your daughters away from you and completely breach the orders. The family law act states that she must (as you must as well) encourage a positive relationship with the other parent. You have all the information that shows she has failed in her responsibilities towards parenthood (another part of the act). I don't know what court your case has been tried in before but if it is just a local court then get it transfered to the federal magistrates court. This is just my opinoin but a lot of solicitors don't care about the outcome, they just care about the money!

Fight