Hi all, I posted a topic a couple below titled "recently separated"

Basically we have been separated for just over a month, we are about 200 k's apart and I can only really see my two girls aged 1.5 and 3.5 every couple of weeks

We are still civil and want to avoid the legal side of things, I guess my question is should I move myself back to where they are and get myself a little place and can then have the girls more often?

I was asked to leave the family home, which I did, leaving everything, to be with family members

I love the town I am in and know it back to front, but at the same time I dislike it because the girls aren't here!!??

I saw a counsellor today and she suggested that I think long and hard about this one, but at the same time thought it a good idea because at such young ages, the girls would benefit greatly from seeing daddy more often

I could probably even get my old job back up there!

Just very confused, sorry to waffle..........

Hi hads, it's never waffling it's comunicating

Well seeingb as I'm the el supremo of waffling that what I think.

I had the decision taken away from me the X left the area and took my daughter with her, my X new well that I could not follow due to financial comitment ( long story )

I decided in the year or so that everything was thrown at me that I would rather establish myself in a country area rather than a suburban area and my daughter could come down during the holiday's as it would be a better life for her in the country.

My X moved back into the area ( her intensions all along ) and I have ended up with 50/50 which my daughter absoloutly loves.

If I could have moved before I made my mind up, some days in a heat beat other no way. I wouldn't have been able afford to live close enough to my daughter to assure 50/50 in the area her mother moved to, so the benefits would have been less.

It realy boils down to you and how you see your future, where is the best place for you to live ? having your old job back and living in an area that you dislike can effect who you are as well.

What do you see yourself doing when their at full time school ??

How much time will you have for the kids after work comittment ??

How will you spend your time with them when you have them ??

There are hundreds of questions that can be dwindled down to five.

The kids will definetly benefit from seeing dad more often as long as mum and dad don't conflict in front of them or bitch behind the others back.
If things change into conflict seeing dad more often doesn't alway's mean it's not a strain for them, it just means more work has to go into making their enviroment comfortable but in saying this you can't control mums enviroment.

I hope this succesfully avoided answering your question and if you have ended up more confused my job is done.

Answer to your question I don't know

D4E, As always thanks for your reply

Yeah very confused!! I guess just being closer to the girls might help, but maybe not

I just picture myself in a little place of my own, and even if it's only having the girls on my days off, at least it will avoid all the travelling and petrol and train tickets and the rest of it

I picture having so much fun with the girls and just being able to bond with them in a way that I can't see happening if I stay down here!

I don't love the town that's for sure, but I do love what the town has, my girls!

Lets face it hads even if you did move back to your old town you can still take the girls away for the weekend to visit your brother, on the train.
Sounds like an adventure to me

I have to admit that being able to walk my daughter to school occassionaly and doing parent roster is a blessing not easily forgotten.

I guess the trick is to imagine, then make it real.

Here's to the future

I have a feeling by the end of the weekend your decission will be clearer.

Oh sh!t now I'm turning clairvoient

D4E, Your words mean so much to me at the moment, you have really helped out over the past month, just want you to know that mate

Tomorrow is a public holiday here, so the long weekend will give me time to work out where I am and what I should or shouldn't do

I truly believe living closer to the girls is the right thing to do

I just can't thank you enough for your replies and the wisdom that you share with everyone here

Thanks for your kind words hads, I'll be the first to admit I do little to help anyone, everyone has it in themselves and mostly just need an ear.
I do thank you though I really am humbled.

I hope this weekend you can enjoy your time I somehow feel your a little lighter already, best of luck

D4E Thanks for your reply mate, I am heading up tomorrow to see the girls, going to stay with the parents-in-law, they are the greatest people around, they have offered me their home anytime I need, and welcome me warmly, which is a big help!

I'm going to love seeing the girls, and we will spend quality time, I can't wait!!

Once again, I must say that the effort you put into this very helpful website is a show of utter devotion, hat off to you mate!