I hope this make sense due to my hand are slow and my mind read fast. But I split up with my ex three years ago . I having huge troubles with my ex at the moment . But I would like to work as a team for our child but I am not allow to . I not going to attack my ex new partner due to they done nothing wrong to me. but for our son sake who has autism . I need to know if they can cope with it . our child live with me due to my ex walk out .
I hate to put a child in these mess when the new partner can't cope.
I have to work with our son school to make life easy for our son . so why can't I am allow to work with my ex new partner.

Sometimes the option of working with the other parent in a co-parenting situation is not always available for many reasons so you end up working in parallel parenting, both situations can work with limited fuss if both parents recognise the boundaries imposed.

There is nothing wrong with getting to know the new partner and at times this can be beneficial but you need to understand the third party accept their partners account as the truth and may be prejudice.

It all comes down to choice by each individual as to the path they wish to follow and all we can do is work within the limitations imposed, we neither have to like or agree but work within.

Best of luck D4E

Kermit,

As the "other" women i dont think it is wrong to meet the new partner at all. If the new partner does not have kids of her own, remember she is new to this all, being a partner to a dad who has kids is one thing, but to be a partner to a dad who has autism is hard work. Have you thought about communicating to the new partner through email or written letter as to what you would wish to do, it would be less intimidating and would give her the chance to make up her mind as to whether she wishes to work as a group or leave it to yourself and your ex partner. As this situation may be frastruating for you, allow your ex and his new partner to figure out their relationship before questions get thrown at her such as is she ready for this. By allowing them time you are more likely going to have their cooperation.

Best of Luck!

Hi .

My ex refuse me to have contact with his new wife due to he brain wash her tell her that I am this mean control freak. Why I want to meet her was not to compare with her but to show her what she is in for due to she not going to get a helping hand from her hubby ( my ex).

It worst when Ex mother in law step in thinking she know everything to try to block this contact. but the woman doesn't have children . Plus found out she has limit English due to she married my ex for a visa .But a family friend told me that she overprotect and feels that I might steal her hubby or her visa away.

Hey Kermit

I think if you were just meeting her to get to know her would be fine, but I don't think that warning her of your ex will be met with much enthusiasm.

If there are language or cultural misunderstandings, this can be more difficult. if you push the issue aggressively, then it may come accross that you are a control freak. Perhaps make the request via email as suggested by Alzyr, then leave it with them for a while. If there is tension, it's not likely that this will be solved overnight.

ALZYR
Nice to see trhat even though you are young, a new member and going through your own traumas you are prepared to offer others help and advice, thats mostly what we are about here . GOODONYA.