Joined: 16 Nov 2005 Posts: 241 Location: Port Stephens NSW
Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 2:45 pm Post subject: My Brothers
I am sad and so very sorry that I have only just discovered this thread. Erich and ImaDAD are like my brothers. Very dear to me. Erich, your choice put me on my arse for a long long time. It has been hard getting back up again I've got to tell you. I believe I carry on with stength I gained from knowing you. Yes I too have cried many times for your loss mate. You knew that a phone call could have made the difference. I am both angry with you for not calling me and myself for not making you feel welcome enough to make that call to me when the time came.
ImaDAD I don't know what to say right now. You know where I am mate. Call on me anytime. It is unfortunately up to us to make sense of this and to try and make sure it doesn't happen again. If you need help with that let me know anytime.
Hang in there
My cousin although family, was a distant cousin who I had only met a few times - Still family and still a human never the less. The big hitter is, it does not matter who these people are that kill themselves it is sad that it gets to such a point.
My cousin never knew just how many friends he had but in saying that I am guessing those friends or most of them only popped up after he hung himself and they probably dis him for exiting so early.
I look forward to growing old and finding ways to deal with any of my problems as they occur and helping others if I am able. I will be attending the Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST) program with Lifeline later this year to learn to help others just that little bit more.
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In ASIST, people learn to apply a suicide intervention model. It helps caregivers recognise when someone may be at risk of suicide. It then explores how to connect with them in ways that understand and clarify that risk, increase their immediate safety and link them with further help.
Through the years I have been separated, I found seeking help does make things better. The best help is from going to Dads in Distress, not to pour my heart out, not to cry on a shoulder but to stand next to another guy going through a tough time and he knows I have can relate to him and he to me which is much better than talking to some one at a bar or party that just don't wanna hear it.
I have your number Spike and will catch up soon mate.
Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 3:46 pm Post subject: No way out
I guess that it is not up to us to judge the extent of helplessness and hopelessness that a person may feel. I don't refer to the pain because that is subjective. I am trying to question the logic.
I have come across friends and relatives of people who committed suicide. Their pain, guilt and shame can be everlasting.
I wonder about the the degree to which a person contemplating suicide is able to, and in fact does give proper consideration to others.
_________________ There are opportunities and possibilities of adding new spice to a seemingly lusterless life of quite desperation!
Joined: 05 Jan 2006 Posts: 2045 Location: Western Australia
Posted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 9:37 pm Post subject:
In a word " Yes ".
They are able to give proper consideration it simply is what is happening inside outweighs anything else.
If you believe that the taking of your own life will result in eternal damnation and you still take your life then you have made a judgment that even this is better than what is being suffered now.
The mind spirals down and you really do have a loathing of yourself and you really do believe that everyone would be better off with out your sorry good for nothing carcus being around, that your presence is not wanted and people don't like you but pity you.
So many other confusing feelings come into play and then you realize everything will go on if you were no longer there, sure it would hurt a bit but things would go on and they would go on better.
You feel like a shadow already, empty so full of nothing but pain and turmoil.
When your there you really do believe what your mind is telling you it is real and you see it's truth. If you make it through and you see life again through open eye's it's like everything is new, it feels different and more vibrantly coloured and seems different to all your senses somehow.
Until the next time when you just want to stop feeling all the pain, fears, self hate and worse.
You simply consider things in two differing mind sets and its always there even when your on an up, you can hide it but it's always there.
In some ways I think it is up to others to judge, prod, support and annoy those who need help if for nothing else just to let them know they are cared for and they are important.
If someone choses to suicide you will not stop them but talking openly about things may help encourage people just how much pain is caused and that people do love them as well as others needing them. You even bring out concern from others, my words will cause concern in some because they are all too aware of what I have written they feel it every day.
Rest assured fun everything is taken into consideration and not just once or twice but hundreds and thousands of times.
I hope you forever more question the logic as I wish for all people because once it makes sense things will never look the same.
_________________ I never offer advice just options that might not have been seen.
Joined: 21 May 2006 Posts: 680 Location: coffs harbour
Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 7:23 pm Post subject: DADS, MUMS, AND KIDS CAN BE BULLIED TO DEATH...SAD FACT!
DADS, MUMS, AND KIDS CAN BE BULLIED TO DEATH...SAD FACT!
Mark Geyer says there's nothing tough about bullying
Article from: The Daily Telegraph
By Mark Geyer
August 01, 2008 12:00am
I TEARED up when I read about Alex Wildman. As a parent this kind of thing really hits home.
Anybody can be affected by bullying. It's a tragedy.
Bullying School is a part of your life that should be the most enjoyable but for some kids it's a nightmare.
Bullying led to Alex Wildman's suicide
It can be a very cruel part of a kid's life, especially during adolescence when your body is changing.
Being bullied just adds to the anxiety of a lot of kids. Looking at that kid's face I had a tear in my eye.
What are we coming to when a 14-year-old boy hangs himself?
We don't want to see this again.
I grew up in the Mt Druitt area and attended Whalan Public School and Whalan High School. Bullying was happening back then but I don't think it was as severe as it is today. It just seems to be an ongoing saga.
I was bullied to a certain degree at school by one kid who wanted me to fight him after school. I was in Year 9 and about the same age as Alex.
Every day after school I would leave by a different gate and I'd run home because I knew this kid was waiting for me at the underpass where everyone used to fight.
You were a coward if you didn't take up the challenge.
Eventually I was able to come out on top of that scenario.
Finally after a couple of months the kid in question worked out which way I was going home from school and he waited at the other gate.
I saw him there and it's one of those situations you just can't explain until you have been there.
My demons were right in front of me in the shape of a schoolmate.
I basically closed my eyes and threw a punch and that was it.
That stopped the bullying, but I don't condone that at all.
After the incident he went on to become one of my best mates.
I suppose I got his respect by standing up to him.
But I think the best thing to do when faced with a bully is to talk about it and tell people just truthfully , what is going on.
I have learnt that you can't take the law into your own hands because that makes you just as bad as they are. That's not the way to fight and win your battles.
Bullies are cowardly and they're gutless and they have to be flushed out of the system. I would like to tell kids being bullied right now, or if they are in the future, to not be scared to dob anybody in.
You're not being a coward if you're getting bullied - you're not the one in the wrong. Kids these days are a bit cautious of coming out and saying, "These kids are making my life hell" because of a fear of facing them the next day.
Apparently Alex was tall - I was the same. I had a big growth spurt and I was pretty gangly and looked like a giraffe.
I was picked on for that reason. Bullying often revolves around being picked on for physical things that kids view as defects, but no child really has a defect - they're just kids for goodness sake.
You have to walk with him in your body and poor Alex never had that chance.
I think everybody is either a bully or gets bullied at some point in their lifetime.
Bullying consumes its victims. The last thing they think about when they go to bed at night is going to school the next day and facing their antagonists.
Bullies in today's society have got to be aware of that. The person you are bullying will be scarred for life.
It's usually a gang mentality. I have never heard of a bully doing it on his or her own - it's always in a group that they're most brave. But being a bully is not brave, it's cowardly.
I have five kids of my own and I talk to them about it all the time, I think it's very important. You worry about their welfare on a daily basis.
To think that they're being bullied when you're not around is scary.
When I drive around taking my kids to school I see some kids walking to school with their shoulders slumped and you wonder what's going on in their minds.
I think the parents of the bullies have to take some of the blame as well. It's a lot to do with morals and ethics that are taught to them at home. They see things at home that they view as everyday occurrences.
Since I finished playing rugby league in 2000 I have been really drawn to charities, I thought it was time for me to give back.
I discovered I got the most pleasure from helping others.
In the past couple of years I have been approached by different principals to talk at schools. I usually do two talks a term at schools in the south-west, west and north-west.
Next week I am going to Glenwood High School to talk to them about helping with an anti-bullying campaign they are setting up there.
Alex's parents must be unbelievably traumatised over their son's death but maybe soon they might see his death as being life-changing for other kids who are getting bullied at the moment
A double story. The loss of one 14 year old and the help this man Mark Geyer is achieving in speaking with others.It is a story worth remembering and a Family and friends in deep grief.
Placed with much sadness.
_________________ Depressed feel defeated in despair tired of the battle then we are listening to you , Loss of children we care.
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Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2011 1:43 pm Post subject: End Of Eternity
Sleeping in the middle of a memorial park
Flummoxed by my clay which seems so dark
Murmuring a cradlesong on the peak of my throat
Feels like my soul has been treated as scapegoat
Moon seems to bleed since i took my last breath
Stars seem to fade on the honour of my last rites
Escaping memories from the prison of my past
Breaking walls around my grave in my lonely nights
They said an axe under my pillow would give me peace
And they threw holy sand from my face to my knees
Brushed birch twig on the edges of my shining grave
Ripped myocardium apart from the love they all gave.
_________________ "If the people cannot trust their government to do the job for which it exists - to protect them and to promote their common welfare - all else is lost."
- Barack Obama
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