I have not had useful contact with my two girls for almost a year. I took what I thought was a passive role of sending letters. Anytime I rang the kids were not available. I was fairly sure the letters were not getting through.

The school happened to make contact and when I followed it through they suggested I write via the school. I took there advice and at first there was a pretty strong reaction from my ex but after some time she agreed I could see the younger girl but only if I picked her up from my ex wife's house. Whole gammit of potential trouble.

What was interesting from the contact with my daughter out of her mother's earshot was that her sister and herself have been looking up on the internet any reference to myself and my family. We went to the library and she showed me on the public internet what the two have been looking up.

It was also pretty clear that she knew letters were not getting through. She offered me her sister's email address which I thought was not such a good idea to have.

After this back ground what I am looking for is a web site which the girls can track. It should have a positive, upbeat name and no direct reference to myself or family, or Dads In Distress.

I am not sure if this makes sense but my little one was concerned that I have been ok but knows if she rings, which she used to do before, there would be trouble.

So if there were perhaps groups photos of activities I am involved in she could see what I am doing and OK.

So maybe if I do something with the church group I could take photos of our activity, which to some extent would not really be alll that important but if the kids knew to keep an eye on the site then they could follow what I am doing.

I do not have a web page and if I did they would be in trouble for looking at it. So I am going to talk to my church about sometimes putting my name in the weekly newsletter. The newsletter is published on the internet and the kids can follow the church newsletter and in doing so see what their dad is up to.

There mum does not let them go to my church and surly would have difficulty in objecting to the looking at the church web site and newsletter.

I hope this idea, if it is clear enough, might help some other dads.

If the kids look up Dads In Distress, it can be thought of as a down beat area. There are some really happy things I would like the kids to know about but I am not sure they or their mum would like looking at Dads n Distress site.

I hope this is sort of clear.

As an adjunct to the day, my little one told me what her mum has been selling to a dealer at the Sunday markets. They are things I left behind in the house which use to be my mother's and I thought would go to the girls. Instead they know their grandmother's things are being sold off for almost nothing. It seems to me their mum still has some anger to work through.

Kind regards
Tris

Hi Tris,

do you know there is a website called TALK 2 DAD created to stay in touch with your kids.

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For the Dad separated from his children through divorce or separation. Stay in secure contact with your children from anywhere in the world.

For a little monthly fee (around $5) you can
- Easily build unlimited web-pages.
- Keep diaries and journals to share.
- Share unlimited photos and pictures.
- Share unlimited files (.doc, .ppt, .xls etc.).
- Use secure messaging 24hrs a day.
- Chat in real-time with Instant Messaging.

It's save and even if your ex will find out one day, she cannot see and read what you are sharing with the kids without log in and password.



Here is another way to share photos in a funny way, giving the kids something to play.
You can upload your own photos and make jigsaws out of them (from 6 pieces up to 247).

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Open a new, free hotmail.com or yahoo.com.au email account with any fake nickname to sometimes send a funny e-card. If you do not sign the card with your name, kids could say it comes from any of their friends.

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That might not be exactly what you are looking for but it's at least a more appropriate environment for your kids than the Dads in Distress website or forum.

If the kids using the computer at home your ex will find out anyway what they are looking up, just checking the history.

If the kids using the computer at school or the library it doesn't matter what they are looking up as long it is "kids friendly".

But it's dangerous anyway, the kids could talk unintentionally about details in their mother's presence.
So please be careful.


Good luck
Gabriele

By the way, here is another interesting website from Bill, a 14 years old son of a divorced couple, for "divorced" kids.

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Hey Tristram

the other choice that you have is mesenger from MSN or Yahoo, this also gives you an e-mail adress, a lot of the kids and adults are using this, it gives real time writting and even voice comunication, this may be usefull as it leaves no untidy e-mails ect and you can comunicate at a designated time of your daughters choice, it doesn't identify your name if you set it up right ( incase of whatchfull eye's [ mother]) of course there should be no neccesitty for hiding comunication, but as we are all aware sometimes parents can make it difficult on the kids.
Good Luck hope you establish good contact.
and as alway's if there is a court order limmiting contact , be sure to play it safe for the sake of the kids and yourself.

Hey there...nice idea...

I'm not up to speed with such things, but blogging is all the rage at the moment...simply an open diary online. May not be quite what you are looking for but I believe there are sites where you can post up a running letter or such and include photos if you like.

There are sites also that will hold your pictures for free. I use photobucket.com to post pics on a technical forum, but you can use it for anything. You can post pictures as links to save space for blogging and such...they appear as if they were on the page, but actually come from photobucket. Or, you could give them the account name so you could all access it, and they could post pics to you...even from a camera phone if they know how to upload it...kids are pretty savvy.

Anyway, I am sure there will be a way. Certainly you can open hot mail and the like email accounts in any name you choose, as can they. Could make a covert james bond like operation out of it...haha.

I guess you could send it via a post office...maybe chat to them for options.

Best of luck.

I had a look at the sites and they are what I am looking for.

I have been looking at Dads In Distress for about a year and found it very helpful in other respects.

It is only after seeing my kid that I became aware the girls had been looking for references to my family and I. They have also been cut off from their cousins and anyone else connected with my family.

I have read about sending them emails and phone calls but over time became aware that anything that was said was listened to and the police have been involved three times now, plus the AVO.

I fought it all through the courts but just used up too much moeny and got fed up by the whole game.

Anyway,

Thanks for your input

Kind regards

Tris