We're not entirely happy. But it's a start. We didn't win on the costs side but we did on the time side. He said re the costs that if she's locked into this for now, then later on we can't cope or circumstances change, we can fight it in court to get new orders based on her history of moving without consent and fight that point in particular. Orders are a little ambiguous (some of which were clarified today by hubby with lawyer) but lawyer said it's to lock her in for now and see how they go for 6-12 months and if they don't work then we can go back and fight her for costs. If she breaches anything on it, we contravene her. If she moves further away then we go back and fight on a cost basis. If we move back, we go back and mediate for 50/50 or EOW, whatever it is we want. It's a start. It's more time than we asked for initially but it compensates for the cost IYKWIM. When we were trying to sort it out between ourselves, she told us 2 weeks at Christmas and 3 weeks for her alternating but at mediation she only wanted hubby to have 1 week out of the 5 weeks school hols at Christmas! Lawyer went NUP... court over that. He was actually really good. It's going to be a very tight budget around here until she's 8 or we move but at least we get to see her and that's the main thing.
IT IS ORDERED BY CONSENT BY WAY OF FINAL ORDER:-
PARENTING ORDER
Lives with
1. That the child XX, born the XX (“the child”) live with the mother.
2. That each parent be responsible for the day to day care of the child when in their care.
3. That the Mother and the Father share the parental responsibility for making decisions about the long term care, welfare and development of the said child.
Arrangements for Spending time with the Father
4. That the Father spends time with the said child at all such reasonable times as may be mutually agreed upon in writing between the parties or otherwise, as follows:-
(a) The Father be allowed to spend time with the child should he visit Sydney and will notify the Mother at least 14 days in advance of when he intends to spend time with the child;
(b) That such visits to be suspending during any New South Wales school holidays or other contact periods specified therein.
Spending time on Holiday Periods
(c) The child will spend the New South Wales school holidays with the Father as follows:-
i. For the June/July holiday period in each year, with the first year being 2007 with the Mother to deliver and the Father to collect the child at 5pm from the Paternal Grandparent’s residence or Airport on the last day that the school breaks for the vacation period with the Father to deliver the child to the Paternal Grandparent’s or Airport on the last Wednesday of the holiday period after spending time with the child;
ii. For the September holiday period, with the first year being 2007 with the Mother to deliver and the Father to collect the child at 5pm from the Paternal Grandparent’s residence or Airport on the last day that school breaks for the vacation period with the Father to deliver the child to the Paternal Grandparent’s residence on the last Wednesday of the holiday period after spending time with the child;
Spending time at Christmas
(d) The child will spend the Christmas School Holiday period with the Father as follows:-
i. For the first half of the Christmas School Holiday period in the year 2007 and in each alternate year thereafter.
ii. For the second half of the Christmas School Holiday period in the year 2008 and in each alternate year thereafter.
Spending time at Easter
(e) The child will spend from Friday being the last day of school term through to Wednesday of the Easter School Holiday period with the Father in the year 2008 and in each alternate year thereafter.
Spending time on Mother’s Day
5. The child will spend each Mother’s Day with the Mother and in the event that the Father would be entitled to exercise spending time with the child on either a weekday or a weekend and such weekday or weekend is the weekday or weekend on which Mother’s Day occurs, then the Father shall NOT spend time with the child on the weekday or weekend (Mother’s Day) but shall spend time with the child on a weekday or weekend which immediately follows Mother’s Day.
Spending time on Father’s Day
6. The child will spend each Father’s Day with the Father and in the event that the Mother would be entitled to exercise spending time with the child on either a weekday or a weekend and such weekday or weekend is the weekday or weekend on which Father’s Day occurs, then the Mother shall NOT spend time with the child on the weekday or weekend (Father’s Day) but shall spend time with the child on a weekday or weekend which immediately follows Father’ Day.
Father’s Birthday
7. That for the purpose of spending time with the child on the Father’s Birthday:-
(a) Should the Father’s Birthday fall on a school weekday and NOT when the child is spending time with the Father, then the Father shall spend time with the child as agreed between the parents, but if not, then from the conclusion of school until 7pm, with the Father to pick the child up from the Mother’s residence;
(b) If the Father’s Birthday shall fall on a weekend and NOT when the child is spending time with the Father, then the Father shall spend time with the child as agreed between the parents, but if not, then from 10am until 2pm on the Father’s birthday;
(c) Should the Father be unable to spend time with the child then the Father shall be at liberty to communicate with the child by telephone at all times as is reasonable, but failing this then between 7pm and 7.30pm and the child be at liberty to telephone the father and Mother shall facilitate this;
(d) And the Father shall notify the Mother of his intention to spend time with the child at least fourteen (14) in advance.
Mother’s Birthday
8. That for the purpose of spending time with and communicating with the child on the Mother’s Birthday:-
(a) The child shall spend time with the Mother however if the Mother’s birthday shall fall on a day when the child is NOT spending time with the Mother, then the Mother shall spend time with the child as agreed between the parents, but if not, then from 10am until 2pm with the Mother to pick the child up from the Father’s residence.
(b) Should the Mother be unable to spend time with the child then the Mother shall be at liberty to communicate with the child by telephone at all times as is reasonable, but failing this then between 7pm and 7.30pm and the child be at liberty to telephone the Mother and Father shall facilitate this.
Changeovers and Transportation
9. That unless otherwise provided for in these orders, the purpose of spending time with the child, the Father shall collect the child from Paternal Grandparent’s residence or Airport at the commencement and deliver the child to the Paternal Grandparent’s residence or Airport at the conclusion of spending time with the child.
Keeping the other parent updated and informed
10. That each parent keep the other party informed of their current residential address and contact telephone numbers (landline and mobile). That both parents are to keep each other informed as to any changes in their address and contact telephone numbers and advise either in writing or orally the other parent of any change 48 hours of any such change.
11. Should either parent be intending to take the child on a holiday such that the child would not be at the usual place to receive any telephone calls due to occur as per Orders 12 and 13, then the parent who has the child is to advise the other parent of a telephone number for the usual telephone call to occur during the period of the holiday.
Communicating with
12. That the Father communicates with the child on the telephone on Wednesday and Sunday evenings between 7pm and 7.30pm when the child is spending time with the Mother and the Father initiating the telephone calls and the child be at liberty to initiate the telephone call at any other time with both parents to facilitate telephone calls.
13. That the Mother communicates with the child on the telephone on Wednesday and Sunday evenings between 7pm and 7.30pm when the child is spending time with the Father, with the Mother initiating the telephone calls and the child be at liberty to initiate the telephone call at any other time with both the parents to facilitate telephone calls.
Education
14. That this Order shall be an authority directed to the child’s school or schools and teachers, pre-school or pre-schools and teachers, and day care providers and day care personnel to provide both parents with copies of school reports, school letters, school newsletters and details of school photographs and to discuss with either parent all matters pertaining to the child’s education and well-being and ensure that the school records include both parents as persons to be notified when necessary.
15. That either parent be able to attend any School Sporting or other significant function involving the child, regardless of which parent is spending time with the child.
Medical
16. That each parent shall keep the other parent informed as soon as practicable as to any significant medical or health related issues concerning the child.
17. That both the parents shall keep each other informed of the details of the child’s treating doctors and other medical professionals.
18. That this Order shall be an authority directed to the child’s doctors and other medical practitioners to provide both parents with all information including documents relating to the health of the child and to discuss with either parent all matters pertaining to the child’s health and well-being.
Other
19. That both the parents are to inform each other of their intention to reside in any place that is further away in travelling time.
20. That the Father’s Parent’s (“Paternal Grandparents”) be permitted to spend time with the child from 9am Saturday until 4pm Sunday every two months with the Mother to deliver the child to the Paternal Grandparent’s residence at the commencement of spending time with the child and shall collect the child from the Paternal Grandparent’s residence at the conclusion of spending time with the child and the Grandparents shall confirm with the Mother at least fourteen (14) days in advance of which weekend they will spend time with the child.
21. That when the child is old enough to travel on her own, that is 8 years of age, that the Father’s wife (XXbe permitted to collect the child from the airport.
22. That the Mother shall contribute $50 per visit and pay this sum of money at least one month in advance directly to the Father’s account prior to the child travelling.
23. That both the parents encourage and foster the child’s relationship with each other.
24. That neither parent denigrate or criticise each other parent or any member of their family or friends in front of the child, nor expose the children to anyone else doing so.
THE END
ETA - I have a headache. My husband thanked me for the first time for helping him to get this far and that he was grateful for all the time and effort that I'd put into this for him and his daughter. He told me that he felt useless and that as much as he used to pick on me playfully about how much time I spent on the net with forums, he now realises what for and that he thanks you guys and me for helping him through this difficult time. It's not over. It probably never will be. But it's a start. Starts are good.
Thanks so much to everyone who has helped me/us with this. I'm still going to be around. I have a lot of saving to do as we now have to save for the 6 flights minus her $50 to have hubby's daughter for 3/4's of June/July hols! It's going to busy. Hubby is going to have to look for a better job, if there is one around where we live.
I just wanted to thank you all for your support, help and advice recently. from the bottom of our hearts. Our little girl is back in our lives.
Love to you all
V
xx
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