I found myself the other day, yet again, listening to another persons suffering at a loved ones suicide. " I can't help but wonder what I did wrong", "What if I had done this" , "Maybe I shouldn't have done that"
Her loved one left us some years ago.
I listened intently as best as I could. Knowing full well that more often than not sharing someone elses burden can alleviate our own. While I listened to this persons pain I found myself sharing it. I was overwhelmed by her sense of loss.
I couldn't help but feel that she was trying to take or accept the bulk of the responsibility.
What were his final words to you I asked.
"I cannot make right the wrongs in my life"
I told her that I can relate to that so much.
Afterwards I thought, what is wrong with this picture.
The guy knew there were wrongs in his life and he felt that we as a society couldn't help him.
Maybe she could have done something else, maybe not. We will never know and that is the part that hurts the most.
The fact remains that this man, Someones child, someones brother, someones father, someones husband killed himself because he thought there was no hope for him. I remember the news articles and the talk all over town. And people continue to ask why it happened.
I think we all own a little bit of that. especially those who ignore the problem because it is too hard to deal with.
While I hope he rests in peace my real concern is for his loved ones.
He can't protect them anymore.

When we parted ways she put her hand on my shoulder and said thank you, you've no idea how good it felt to talk to you.

As anyone who has been involved at dids as long as I have will tell you. we've got a pretty good idea of how important it is to truly listen and to truly be heard.

the pity is that no-one heard her loved ones plight until it was too late.

Hang in there
Chris

Sadly, refreshingly and tragically so ,....is well heard... by me.
What a wonderfully emotionally helpful time for her, to be priveleged to speak with you Chris , and for you to share the reality of the story. I am not easily impressed , as I have said before , yet , and probably you will be a little embarressed by my speaking, I hope not.
As pure open gut-stated honesty, has always been what DIDS and in all the meetings throught Aussie are about. Including this Forum.

I would firstly commend you for sharing this, and further to hear of you once more as a truly gifted listener.........as your details of her suffering are clearly stated because of your empathic listening ability , grown no doubt, execised no doubt , and put into practice no doubt, by your own sufferings over the years.

IT indeed is... one of the greatest helps any -one of us can do for another is to TRULY LISTEN. And anyone who has real insite can tell when someone isn't listening.........as unlike you,.........they cannot feel, nor reply. And may I say in those situations I have learnt and been encouraged by the incredible fact that my seemingly small and empty words of reply, were enough. AS...THEY...KNEW...YOU...WERE...LISTENING WITH YOUR HEART!

The very reason you are here today, telling, and sharing is you have recognised that it is where we each can do the best for the most as best we can.
And as you most probably felt, exausted from taking it in......and now it is great if , as you, we too can share in a similiar way, and uphold one another, so we don't ourselves lose hope.!!!

It is a wonderfully fulfilling, exaustingly often a tough and priveleged occupation.
98% of the time, we each do not see the results of our input and true listening, yet occassionally we do, and 2% will keep me going as you have just enriched my day also. Thanks for just being you Chris.

Sleep content tonight Pal.

Colin[/b]

Are You Feeling Suicidal? Concerned About Someone

Depression (& anxiety) is Life Changing
YOU can Beat It.
You can Enjoy Life Again...

BY GRAEME ,

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What is Depression or Depressive Anxiety and more important to me!

Why did it happen to me?

And I needed to know, how was I going to fight back to regain my self-esteem?

Also what are the effects on other men?

I am now 58 year old. I am a single male, and a few years ago I was diagnosed as suffering with 'IT'.

I was told I was in the grip of the whole damn group,

Depression, Anxiety Attacks and even the mad Panic Attacks.


Being a bloke, I had to ask. What the "£@#&*! is this thing that has taken hold of me?

and

Why ME?


How did this happen to ME?

In my search for answers I visited and asked that question to as many of the professional and medically trained experts I could find.


My employer even sent me to their so called expert Medical Examiners! However, I found out that was to determine if I had become a risk to the organisation!!!!! It turned out my manager was frightened I may become an embarrassment to him and our employer. Wow talk about a stigma response.


Okay so back to my question "Why ME" and what was I going to do about it?


I was given a variety of answers. I am still unsure what the term Depression really means.


However to me, it seems to be a term given to cover the gamut of negative and extremely sad and self destructive emotions that were haunting me.


Looking back on it now, I find several things very interesting.

Through a series of events my life had turned to hell and being a bloke I did not talk about what was happening and I did nothing about my feelings. I at just excepted my feelings as the way things were in life.


Eventually with an uncontrolled build up of inner aggression my emotions went through a total melt-down.

It was not until that eruption and my emotional stability was turned upside down that I excepted something was wrong and I needed to fight back.


But, it was not until a name was eventually put to what had happened to me that I was able to start my fight to try and turn things around.


I knew in myself I needed to regain my self-esteem and defeat the negative power of my Depression and override the effect of those Anxiety Attacks.


I knew something was tragically wrong and my emotions were spiralling out of control.


Once that negative power was given an identity I was then able to start my attack on it.


Before my illness was diagnosed, how did I feel?

I one word, lost.

I was like the 'little boy lost'. I had a constant feeling of despair and an empty anxiety in my gut, just under my diaphragm. The world was falling in on me and I did not know why.


The eventual overwhelming eruption and onset of this thing they call Depression apparently happened as a result of several work related events. The work issues happened in sequence over a very short space of time and my Depression, Anxiety Attacks and Panic all invaded me with one combined rush of devastation.

All I remember is;

I could not eat properly.

My sleep pattern was all over the place, I had nights where I could not sleep at all and then days when I could not stay awake.


I had incredible night sweats and I would wake up in a state of deep panic.

My personality had changed.

I was uncharacteristically verbally aggressive toward people.

Unknown surroundings brought on extreme feelings and destructive anxiety attacks.


During the day I would panic for no apparent reason.


I became anxious just talking to friends.

My job was put at risk.

I was tired of life. I just wanted to walk off the edge of the earth.


I felt worthless and had no value to myself.

Panic attacks would overwhelm me and stop me in my tracks. Some days I could not drive on the open highway.


Being within groups of people could bring on periods of extreme anxiety, even when the groups of people were people I knew.


A strong feeling of sadness constantly hung over me like a dark cloud.

I lacked interest in all forms of life.

My depression had me withdrawing into myself. I stopped my social life and pulled away from community functions.

I resigned from my position within my local Community Services Club.

I became self-conscious of my reactions.

I became embarrassed about myself and could not face friends.

I had attacks of impending doom and gloom.

I was drinking an excessive amount of alcohol.

I felt life was over and there was no reason to hang around.

I felt worthless and I felt nobody would miss me if I was not here.

All the pleasure of life had been sucked out of my life.

YOU COULD SAY LIFE WAS NOT GOOD FOR ME!!!!!

I now believe my Depression may have been sitting with me, on my shoulders for a number of years just waiting for an inappropriate time to announce itself, but without knowing it was there I just carried on and I would block its effects.

'Ignorance is Bliss'


But as I mentioned above, everything was brought to an explosive life changing eruption through that progressive series of negative work related events. The overwhelming eruption coupled with my failure to recognize the warning signs almost destroyed me.


A sad reflection I remember about that time was the reactions of some of my male work colleagues. It was as though my illness frightened them, or they did not understand and they suddenly distanced themselves from me as much as they could. It was as though my Depression threatened them and their security!


It has only been since the eruption and open onset of my Depression, Anxiety attacks and Panic attacks that I have started to recognize some of my earlier symptoms of my hidden Depression that quietly hunted and haunted me for so long.


When I look back and put the pieces of the jig-saw of my life together I feel the Three Brothers - Depression, Anxiety and Panic have walked with me during different times for many years.


However now I recognize them, they no longer frighten me!

I have great respect for their power but they do not control me.

Occasionally, when my energy is low one will try to drag me back into their control for awhile.


If something significant happens to unbalance me, all three may pop in for one of their attacks on me and try to play games with my emotions.


Fortunately their influence does not stay with me for as long these days - it is as though they know I have the power to move them out of my space.


Read through the pages on this Web Site, it is My Story and read what allowed me to see, and now manage, the destruction that Depression caused to my life?



Graeme Male Depression, Anxiety Attacks- or Panic attacks.

Web

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Please visit, anytime you need reassurance........I hope you find it helpful , ask questions and I will reply A.S.A.P.


PLACED WITH PERMISSION : C.S.

From: Mental Illness Fellowship Australia
Date: 21/11/2007 1:01:17 PM
To:

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Subject: Results of the Australians Talk Mental Health survey and how the parties responded





Australia’s major political parties talk mental illness


Dear ATMI respondent,

Eighty seven per cent of people who responded to the Australians Talk Mental Illness (ATMI) survey said that mental health issues would affect their vote at this Saturday’s Federal Election.

To help people concerned with mental health issues decide their vote, the Mental Illness Fellowship of Australia has been asking the major political parties for their responses to the ATMI study and asking them what their mental health policies are.

We have been posting their responses on our website.

At the time of writing, we have had responses from the Australian Greens, the Australian Democrats and the Liberal/National Coalition. We are still hoping to receive a response from the Australian Labor Party and Family First.

Each of the parties’ current responses can be found on the MIFA website, along with a summary of the ATMI results and MIFA’s recommendations by clicking here.

While on the website, please consider clicking through to our subscription page to ensure that your details are up to date in our database so we can send you relevant information about this and other mental health issues.

If you do not wish to receive further correspondence from us, please click “Unsubscribe” at the end of this email.

Regards,

Margaret Springgay
Mental Illness Fellowship Australia




This email was sent by Brett de Hoedt, Mental Illness Fellowship Australia, PO Box 1277, Hawksburn, Australia 3142 to

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Take care of your mental , physical , emotional and spiritual HEALTH
Colin





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Mental Illness Fellowship of Australia Inc 2

Overview

The Australians Talk Mental Illness survey was conducted over a period of three months in early 2007.

The aim of the project was to get an accurate understanding of how average Australians felt the Federal Government was performing across several key areas affecting people with a mental illness.

Response to the survey has exceeded all expectations with 2,300 Australians from around the country rallying to get their voices heard - both in paper format and online.

The Results

On analysing the results of Australians Talk Mental Illness 2007, we found -

* 87% of respondents said that mental health issues would affect their vote at the next federal election.
* 36.3% of respondents felt that the situation facing people with a mental illness had become worse over the last federal term; 51.2% thought it had stayed exactly the same.
* The Federal Government was ranked by the majority of respondents as performing "poorly" on nine out ten mental health issues.
* The most important federal issues relating to mental health were (in order)
1. Housing
2. Employment
3. Community and family education
4. Mental health research
5. Social security

A precis of the survey results can be found here.

The Next Steps

Based on the survey's results, MIFA wrote a submission for Australia's major political parties to consider.

A copy of that submission can be found here.

The submission has now been sent to each of the major political parties and MIFA has invited each party to respond with their intentions on mental health policy ahead of the Federal Election 2007.

We will post each response on this site as we receive them.

Responses to the Australians Talk Mental Illness 2007 survey (click each party's name to read their response):

* Australian Greens
* Australian Democrats (response letter)
* Australian Democrats (policy)
* Coalition

What You Can Do

You can help encourage our politicians to take your voice seriously.

Let your local MP know that you are passionate about mental health and ask what they are intending to do in response to the Australians Talk Mental Illness 2007 survey.

A good lobbying kit to get started can be found here and the contact details for your local member can be found here.

Media

For members of the media seeking more information about Australians Talk Mental Illness 2007 -

* Click here for the media release.
* Click here for a summary of results.
* Click here for MIFA's recommendations.
* Click here for a snapshot of what people said about the top issues.

Case studies and interviewees are available in all state and across most regions.

For further information, please contact Brett de Hoedt at Hootville Communications on (03) 9510 0848 or

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MIFA acknowledges its foundation partner


Mental Illness Fellowship of Australia Inc 2004


The Mental Illness Fellowship of Australia website is intended to provide general information only. It does not provide specific advice, which should be sought from an appropriately qualified professional person. This site is made available on the condition that Mental Illness Fellowship of Australia, the authors and others involved in its production and dissemination shall not be held responsible or liable for the results of any actions taken as a result of information or opinions within it.

This website is edited by Hootville Communications.

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My very best regards to all who visit. Any questions, please repsond via private email, Post a reply on your Forum , or

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