Another favorite song of mine is Frank Sinatra's 'My Way'.

Instead of commiting suicide, I believe it's better to live a life that's full; to travel each and every highway.

It's better to do what one has to do; to see it through without exemption.

It's better to taste it all, but to stand tall.

And finally,
"to say the things he truly feels,
and not the words of one who kneels,
the record shows,
I took the blows, .....".

Risk defines life.

The pen is mightier than the sword. Bear in mind, though, that if you use the pen freely, you risk being attacked. You expose yourself to resentment. But if you allow yourself to be intimidated, you'll never be able to say the things you truly feel.

If you want your life to be as interesting as otherwise, you have to face the challenge. Makes life worth living. For myself, if everbody agrees with me all the time, my life would be boring.

Besides, you've got nothing to lose. Your hopes have reached to a nadir. You were on the brink of suicide.

If your heart is full of anger, bring it out. Full of hatred? Show it. Don't suppress them. Anger and hatred keep the flame burning. Keep you alive.

"for what is a man,
what has he got,
if not himself, .....".

Depression and despair make you pull the trigger.

You only live once, and life is too short. Don't shorten it further.

Meanwhile, figure that the powers that be will come up with longterm solutions to this suicide problem while we continue fighting for reforms to the Family Law system. Perhaps, fighting forever. Oh, well, this should keep Dids Inc from being put out of business for a long time.

Until then, keep smiling.




_____
"don't let the sun catch you cryin' "

Helping a Family Member Get Help when their may be a sign of mental illness leading to suicide. In many cases major losses can create the scenario for some folk.
I know as I have been down this path , yet not to an end , which would have caused significant distress to family and friends in and out of Dids.

Though I struggle at times, I have chosen to remain here to speak ,so that that which I have endured for so long , can be used to empathise with others walking the similar path.

As younger Fathers are able to relate to other Fathers in their plight of challenges and change , as single men and women face broken marriages and relationships. And small children suffer.
So we each add from our life experience and learning from and through others to live life , and to love and appreciate life.

Despite the prevalence and our increased understanding and acceptance of mental illness in society today, many family members still harbour fears and uncertainty surrounding how to help someone close to them who has a mental illness. Some of these fears, while understandable, are also irrational – that maybe I’ll “catch” what they have, that it’s probably genetic, so I’m going to get it too, or that whatever I’ll say to my family member will be the wrong thing.

These fears for many are grounded in the historical stigma and misinformation surrounding mental disorders along with anxiety and panic disorder.

For decades, anybody who was diagnosed with a “nervous condition” was often hospitalised as an inpatient for years. Many were never released, spending most of their lives in hospital wards for the insane. Doctors didn’t really understand why these people were disturbed, only that their families didn’t want to deal with them and their “crazy behaviours” any longer. So they were glad to consent or comply passively or without protest to 'warehousing' family members in wards designed for a lifetime of living.

But in the past two decades, researchers and doctors have made great strides in understanding how to administer effective treatments for mental disorders. These treatments, both medication- and psychotherapy-based, allow nearly anyone with a mental disorder to lead a full and rich life. The diagnosis of a mental disorder or condition is no longer a stigmatised sentence to a life in a hospital ward and of being ignored by one’s family.

Yet families often don’t know how to handle a family member with a mental disorder, or one who was once “ill” and is now “better.” They don’t understand what caused the disorder in the first place, and are afraid of coming down with a similar condition over time. It’s not surprising this sentiment is still prevalent. Researchers still have few definitive answers regarding the causes of mental disorders, although there are many competing theories (including brain chemistry, personal development and upbringing, physical brain abnormalities, etc.). However, we still don’t know what causes the majority of mental disorders.

Information, then Action
Families would do well to read and learn all they can about the mental disorder the family member is inflicted with. Websites, such as

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, books, and informational brochures all contain a wealth of useful information that can help a person better understand the symptoms, course, scope and treatments available for a disorder.

Knowledge is the key to answering many common questions and putting to rest many common fears. For instance, mental disorders are not virus- or bacteria-based, generally ,therefore you can’t “catch” the mental disorder afflicting the family member. While there may indeed be genetic indicators and links, the causal relationships are not well understood for most disorders. In other words, even if your brother or daughter has schizophrenia, that doesn’t mean you’re going to get it too.

We each need to reduce the stigma of any illness or difference in others , and stamp it out as best we can. For those who suffer , may they not need to suffer twofold .

Colin Spratt

He didn't know he had the courage. Until courage was all he had left.




________________________________________________
The pen is mightier than the sword.

Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.
C. S. Lewis

Good to hear from you Mate,
Hope you are travelling ok , this is home to many.

including me
Colin

"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep. (Robert Frost)"

I just found out this morning that my cousin hung himself over the weekend. His mother has now lost 4 of her children out of 6 over the years.

Firstly she lost 2 in a car crash in the 70's, then she had another 2 then lost 1 to overdose, so she had another 2 and now this one hangs himself....sad.

Terrible when someone takes their own life. Now my Aunt is a possible high risk for taking her own life. What's next a rolling thunder with the uncle and last 2 kids which one of them already has breast cancer.

For those thinking of taking their own life....find some help because you may knock yourself off but you might make others follow too.

Cheers

ImaDAD

I'm sorry for your loss ImaDAD

Not much can be said at these times as no one really knows what one goes through.

All my best D4E

ImaDAD, sorry to hear about your cousin. I lost my aunt who was like a second mother to me, in the same way.

It left me feeling very angry with the world for a long time. I was angry with my aunt for choosing to leave me, angry for the way it changed my family and angry with everyone else for failing to see how truly desperate things had become for her.

Now I understand a lot more about PND, and the fact that she was truly committed to the act (women don't tend to choose hanging as a means of suicide) I feel quite sad for her.

When she died, she left behind two young babies, a 15 year old daughter and a 17 year old daughter. Her husband, almost immediately fostered out the babies (his biological children who were adopted out about 6 months later), kicked out his 15 and 17 year old stepdaughters and then remarried 8 weeks later.

I have attended the weddings, of 3 of these 4 children and their days were each tinged with a terrible sadness that they could not share this with their mother. Two of them now have their own children and again, it was very painful for them not to have their mother their to see her grandchildren.

I have been in contact with one of the babies who was adopted out at 6 months (she is now in her 20's) and we get along like a house on fire, but she has a terrible sense of loss in not getting to know her mother.

Their mother was an amazing woman, and an excellent mother. PND overtook her and she lost her will to live.

You're right, it is a sad thing for someone to feel so desperate that they feel the need to take their own life and I can understand what can push you to that point. But I have also seen the fall out on a young family left behind to pick up the pieces and live with the loss.

We all experience some of the most horrendously painful times, where you just don't think you could face another day. But those times do pass. Suicide is final, your pain is at an end, but the pain for those left behind endures.

Seems to be a little strange. Apparently the coroner is not happy? I don't know what it means other than the funeral has been delayed.

obviously something is not adding up. I couldn't even begin to speculate.

nor could I so I looked into it further, apparently the coroner is run off his feet with people dying. Still Sad news for my cousin and bad news for his parents.

Cheers

ImaDAD

Yes, what happens to those who chose to stay alive?

Every now and then, I'd ask myself, "Am I still alright? Am I still sane? Am I still thinking rationally?".

Reminds me of the song in the rock opera concert, "Jesus Christ, Superstar",
"In these past few days when I see myself, I seem like someone else".

I was never myself ever since I was thrown out of my own house. I've been doing weird things I've never done before.

Oh, yes. Sometimes when I went over my messages here, I'd ask myself, "Was this really me writing?".

She's destroyed my self-worth. Deprived me of dignity. Robbed me of self-respect. Everything, actually. Blighted my life forever.

Although I haven't flown over the cuckoo's nest yet.

I am sad and so very sorry that I have only just discovered this thread. Erich and ImaDAD are like my brothers. Very dear to me. Erich, your choice put me on my arse for a long long time. It has been hard getting back up again I've got to tell you. I believe I carry on with stength I gained from knowing you. Yes I too have cried many times for your loss mate. You knew that a phone call could have made the difference. I am both angry with you for not calling me and myself for not making you feel welcome enough to make that call to me when the time came.
ImaDAD I don't know what to say right now. You know where I am mate. Call on me anytime. It is unfortunately up to us to make sense of this and to try and make sure it doesn't happen again. If you need help with that let me know anytime.
Hang in there
Chris

Thanks Spike,

My cousin although family, was a distant cousin who I had only met a few times - Still family and still a human never the less. The big hitter is, it does not matter who these people are that kill themselves it is sad that it gets to such a point.

My cousin never knew just how many friends he had but in saying that I am guessing those friends or most of them only popped up after he hung himself and they probably dis him for exiting so early.

I look forward to growing old and finding ways to deal with any of my problems as they occur and helping others if I am able. I will be attending the Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST) program with Lifeline later this year to learn to help others just that little bit more.

Link:

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Quote:

In ASIST, people learn to apply a suicide intervention model. It helps caregivers recognise when someone may be at risk of suicide. It then explores how to connect with them in ways that understand and clarify that risk, increase their immediate safety and link them with further help.

Through the years I have been separated, I found seeking help does make things better. The best help is from going to Dads in Distress, not to pour my heart out, not to cry on a shoulder but to stand next to another guy going through a tough time and he knows I have can relate to him and he to me which is much better than talking to some one at a bar or party that just don't wanna hear it.

I have your number Spike and will catch up soon mate.

Cheers

ImaDAD

Hi everyone,
I guess that it is not up to us to judge the extent of helplessness and hopelessness that a person may feel. I don't refer to the pain because that is subjective. I am trying to question the logic.
I have come across friends and relatives of people who committed suicide. Their pain, guilt and shame can be everlasting.
I wonder about the the degree to which a person contemplating suicide is able to, and in fact does give proper consideration to others.