My daughter asked me today if she could move in with me full time and just have day visits with her mum. We have a 50/50 shared care thing going at the moment. So does anyone out there know what age my daughter has to be to make her own choice?

It depends on the Judge but assuming she knows the difference between right and wrong and can explain it may be a good bench mark, assumed around 11 years old pluss. Should have a maturity level. But some may have differing views......

How old is she ? and has she given a reason why ??

D4E

She is 13 and the reason has been going on for a while my daughter tells me her mum swears at her a lot and finds it hard to get anything to eat.

I would suggest if possible talking to your X and if you are on good terms offer to trial a change to see how it went. It all depends on what sort of relationship you have with your X.

If your daughter want s to stay at your home I do not think there would be a problem what so ever, she can stand in court and tell the truth and know how to explain herself.

You are extremely polite, constant swearing at a person is a form of degredation and abuse and although teenagers can be a handful there is no need to constantly swear and abuse them.

It alway's helps to check information even on this forum so I might suggest just to give your local family court a ring and ask them how it would be percieved, given the reasons.

But the best senerio is communication between yourself and the X if the call to the court say's the same I have this will improve your ability to bata, when people are left without a choice they seem to negotiate a lot better and who knows if she knows the problem she may be able to work on it to improve their relationship. the statement " I have rang the court and checked and our daughter is of the age where she can make her own mind up " is like a sledgehammer of acceptance that she has too stop her way's or loose her daughter by her own actions.

Good luck Salub hope it helped if only a little

Communication between the X isn't that good she goes off all the time and swears at me too, but I will give it a go. I will ring the local family court a tomorrow. Thanks heaps for your help I feel less stressed now.

Hey Salub

I know how it can be and just a quick phone call to check that I've steered you in the right direction will sure help with confidence, it is never easy when the other person is simply abusive and angry all the time, it's kinda scary.

You may also want to ask them what rights your daughter has in this situation and just let her know as well, it may help build her a little too.

If you need somewhere to blow off steam just post again there are plenty of others in the forum but it's late so you just got me at the mo.

Good Luck tommorrow, try not to be shy about telling it how it is, your just seeking advice, thats your right..

D4E

Generally it is considered that around 12 is where children are probably mature enough to have their opinion givern considerable weight. Again it depends on the maturity and determination of the child concerned.

Having said that, A court would probable not give you advice on that issue, it would be considered as "legal advice" which courts can not give. Better to ring the Family Relationship Hotline 1800 050 321 who can arrange for legal advice over the phone.

Raising the issue with the mother is a good idea. (Keep a diary and/or record the conversation). The mother should either "get the message" and adjust her behavior or what is more likely, attempt to pressure your daughter more, which will push the Daughter further away.

You could approach a mediation organisation with the view to starting some managed communication with the mother.

Teenagers LOVE to play the parents against each other - if mum says no they tell stories to DAD and if DAD says no, they go to mum telling her bad things about DAD.

Just look out pse.