Well I havnt been to see my daughter yet as I thought it best to pursue the legal option. So far, the other party has postponed mediation for a week and has had the advice from the mediation centre that only one postponement is allowed. If mediation is cancelled, then a certificate is issued for `breakdown` of mediation which is necessary for court action. I am perusing through the Family court site learning about the next step of action should this occur. I wish to use the `do it yourself` option as I know how expensive this can be. I would rather put the $$ in a savings fund for her education. Are there others out there that could offer hints and tips for self representation? I am getting very positive about the outcome already.

Hey Quent.

As you are now moving into legals and deciding to self represent I'll suggest a good site to have a look around that may be able to help you immensely.

Family Law Web Guide.

Just google or yahoo it and then have a look, I'd suggest you go into the community section and join the SLR-R as well as FLWG.

As always try and keep emotional and legal separate, here we are good at emotional support and can help a little with legal where FLWG concentrate more on legals and legal support but not so much on the emotional side.

Both will have value to you as you go through this.

best of luck D4E

Hi QentIts a long road for you isn't it, but a road that leads to better and more happier days and D4E is just the guy to assist you with this type of journey.
It's good to catch up with your progress and see the positive continuing inner courage that was always there.
We are still here for you Mate and look forward to hearing of your progress with eager ears.

I commend you , as you made the decision and put aside the soft approach , also reaching the conclusion ,knowing fully that the visiting and the broadside you would receive would not be helpful for the ongoing week to week interaction of your daughter.
You have chosen well and we are still with you where we can assist ask all you need.
Take good care Qent and try not to complicate things with another serious relationship unless it is one which will help you persue the main issue of being the DAD to your daughter you so badly wish and for her to know you along with being bonded once more. Small steps will do it for you and we each wish you well.
Ask for all the help you need from wherever you can obtain it.
Take care of you, YOU DO HAVE RIGHTS, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE DAD Write it in bold letters in texta large enough to stop the recorded voice from your ex ,and repete it loud enough to drown out her words.
DADS HAVE RIGHTS ALSO...........AND SO DOES YOUR DAUGHTER TO KNOW HER DAD!
Colin

Well...we did the mediation thingy today...the only thing we agreed upon was my daughter will know the truth..she wants it to be in 4 or so years when she is more `mature` to handle it...I want her to know now. I keep coming back to the `approach the school` scenario. I am starting legal action now. In the meantime, I want to tell my daughter exactly how I feel and the only way that is going to happen is direct to her. Why do I feel it is the right and wrong way to go about it? I know the court WILL provide contact for us, its just so much time has gone by, I dont want to wait up to a year for a hearing. I even suggested the scenario where I attend sports meetings (Incognito) to watch my daughter..that was met with the reply of `I will call the police`.Right now I want to try that and have the police talk to me on the netball courts..at least EVERYONE will know whats going on. I am sick of crying myself to sleep over it..It is So easy to be alienated. My advice to anyone in this position is DONT LET UP..not even for a moment..you have to keep the pressure on all the time. Now...Where did I put those time machine plans?

Quent

I can't say it's unexpected news but it is a step closer, you will now get a certificate and make an application to the courts for contact. I realize you are toying with the idea of surprise contact and you have mentioned this to the mother so it will be messing with her head.

You do need to be careful when and where you chose this method of contact to make sure you are not perceived to be threatening or invading her space to the point an A.V.O. is possible and seeing this can be achieved on a perceived threat " I thought he may become violent or harassing and I was scared ".

Play a smart game and don't fall for any traps.

If you are on public ground and explain you are there to watch your daughter play sport they may accept this but if you are ask to leave do so though protest that you do not understand why you have been ask to leave.

Normally my point would be stay clear or it will have a negative effect on your case in the future especially if your falsely accused of crap. This will also help establish that you have the best interests of the child at the core and you want a sanctioned introduction.

At the end of the day you will do things your way and there will be support here as well as feed back.

I wish you luck with your choice but I should suggest you do not wait too long before filing in court.

All best D4E

I`ve done it!! I went to her school and had my personal details added to her file for the purposes of reports etc. I took a photo album and a letter and presented it to her. She didnt appear surprised or upset but I felt she was studying me whilst I spoke. I was SO nervous I was shaking . I felt there would have been small bits of info filtering through and I didnt want her to find out through school yard talk. Well now she knows the truth of who I am. I drove away with feelings of `was this the right thing to do?` mixed with jubilence. Now I guess the only thing I can do is wait and hope she contacts me. I know this was a life changing event for both of us and I hope it is for the better. Now I need to contact her school councillor to make sure she has someone to talk to as it is possible she may not talk to her mum about this. I know it may appear to be a selfish act on my behalf but I also consider she has her sisters and grandparents all missing her and want a good outcome. Should I go back in the next month or so to watch her play sport etc or should I wait until she contacts me?

I agree with ImaDAD,

The first initial move was hard enough and you were not flatly rejected so why not take the chance, as always you do need to be on guard against situations that may be viewed as conflicting. If ask to move on don't cause a fuss be the bigger parent.

It's been a hard fought decision Quent, well done for having the courage to make it and I'm so glad it all went well for you, best of luck.